Gauri Chhabra
Come October- we hail the onset of autumn, often known as the fall in the US and Canada. It marks the shedding of leaves and is the harbinger of the winter.
This fall, let us look at the habits and attitude that have stuck to us over the years. To rejuvenate ourselves we need to shed some of them, we need to quit our old habits, comforts and attitudes.
We humans often get stuck in a hamster wheel of habit. We do things that aren’t good for us, remain where we shouldn’t and put ourselves through voluntary suffering all in the name of comfort. We don’t know these things are damaging, because it’s normal to us.
But a rare few snap out of it and quit before it’s too late. So, this fall, shed your habits like leaves of the tree and witness a rejuvenation of your own self.
Shed Stopping
They say that at the very moment you want to quit, you’re actually almost there. It’s the stupid human in us…we go so far and then our brains take over and tell us it’s too hard. When did we get the memo that life was supposed to be easy all the time?
Think right now about something you keep stopping. You committed to it, but then you suddenly quit because it started to require a little extra elbow grease. A project at work, a relationship, a fitness goal. Remember why you started it, then push onward. Because the more you stop and think about quitting, the longer it’ll take to get to your desired result. Or worse, you’ll never know what it feels like to reach the finish line.
Shed tomorrow:
Embrace today. Do not procrastinate. You know the saying, “Yesterday you said tomorrow?” Seriously, stop that! Delaying or procrastinating around something that you think is important means one of two things. You’re either scared to start because it means your life will change or you want it for the wrong reasons. So yes, that new language you need to study to take up this new assignment at work be very difficult and possibly unpleasant. But every day you wait to start is another day you’re not helping yourself. And you keep telling yourself that you’ll wait until the kids are a certain age before you take up a new assignment, but is that really the main reason you’re waiting? Or is it because working an extra hour is not nearly as exciting as all the other options you have right now.
The more you procrastinate the difficult it gets for you…
Shed Being a Victim
One thing our historical misfortunes as a nation have taught us is a sense of being a victim. The glory we feel lies in our own victimization and self – pity .When people tell me they’re doing something or making certain choices because they have “no choice,” it makes me want to bang my head on the table…and then put that on repeat. You have a choice in everything you do. Barring a few really crazy exceptions, no one holds your hand to the fire on anything. And if you’re choosing to remain in a place that isn’t positive, you’re victimizing yourself.
Each one of us has a sob story.
Our social groups are great for complaining. We all discuss our problems with our friends and that’s ok. But there are limits. Everyone gets a few opportunities to complain about a particular hardship, but if you seek advice and respond with but I can’t too many times, you officially become a victim. Eventually, you’ll have to ask yourself whether you even want to fix the problem.
Shed Yes
My boss reminded me recently that anytime we say yes to something, we’re saying no to something else. So when you say yes to another hour of sleep, you are saying no to the new fitness regime. When you say yes to a crappy review from your boss, you’re saying no to getting acknowledged for the great work that was overlooked. When you say yes to watching pointless reality TV shows, you’re saying no to doing the dishes. Or if you say yes to staying late at the office, you’re saying no to your relationship.
It could be you don’t need to entirely quit saying yes. You may just need to analyze when you’re saying yes and what you’re trading for it. You might find yourself saying yes to things you don’t even care about and no to things that could make your life better in some way.
It is a tight rope walk – between yes and no. Next time, before you say yes, ask yourself about the tradeoff you are going to do for it.
Shed Expecting:
I got an email the other night from someone looking for advice. He told me that he’s been working for the same company for his entire career, rising through the ranks and loving it. But recently he realized he’s hit a wall – he’s had many reviews and each time he meets with management, they’re not giving him the promotion he knows he’s ready for. My question to him was, “Have you asked for it?”
It’s very rare for a company to proactively promote someone at a fast pace. Especially true in older organizations, if you expect your company to promote you when they feel you’re ready for it, you’ll be sitting around waiting for about 10 years to reach the next level.Your boss is like your significant other. Don’t expect them to read your mind. They’ll only know what you need when you tell them. If you really have your heart set on something like an appraisal, you must be vocal about it. If you don’t speak up, you’re leaving the translation up to them. Expect at your own risk.
Shed Cherry picking:
Suck it up. We all have things we don’t want to do, but we have to do them because we’re adults. I once managed a team responsible for a corporate-wide project with a lot of moving pieces. There were some majorly miserable elements to that project and there were some really meaty parts, things you put on your resume too. As I sat with my boss reviewing progress one day, she asked why I hadn’t finished one particular task. I responded with, “It’s boring me!” Her response was, “Your point?”Yeah, life doesn’t work that way. You can’t pluck the fun parts out and leave the tough parts on the table.
Take it or leave it…
If we didn’t have to work hard to reach success, we wouldn’t appreciate it. If there’s something you’re putting off because it’s boring you, it’s hard, or tiring…just get up and get it done. Quit avoiding it. There will be rewards along the way and there will be a great sense of accomplishment at the end.
So, let some habits fall off you this fall…
Adorn new ones, when the time comes…
Follow our WhatsApp channel
