Understanding your child

Shria Abrol

Understanding your children is one of the most important things that you should learn as a parent. It is very helpful in becoming effective in guiding and nurturing your child as they grow and mature. One of the most important things that you, as a parent, should work on is understanding your child’s psychology. No, you need not get a ‘degree’ in parenting. What you should do, though, is find out about the simple things that tell you what your child likes or dislikes, what makes your child laugh or cry, and what motivates him/her or causes him/her misery. Parenting is more than just providing comforts for your children. It is being there for the child emotionally, and providing them a sense of security. Here are a few basic child psychology tips that will help you understand children better:
Observation Is Key
One of the simplest, yet most effective, ways to learn about child psychology is observation. Show interest in what your children are doing or saying. Observe their actions, expressions, and temperament when they eat, sleep, and play. Keep in mind that your child is unique and may have a personality that stands out, even as he grows. So avoid comparing your child with other children. Remember not to judge the child. Just observe to be aware.
Spend ‘Quality’ Time With
Your Children
Parents today are busy juggling work and home. If you want to understand your children, you need to make time for them. You may have to dedicate time to talk and play with them, and spend quality hours that allow you to understand their psychology. Conversations with your kids let you know what’s happening in their life at school and home, what their favorite music or TV show is, and what gets them excited and what doesn’t.
Children Need Your
Undivided Attention
When you plan to spend time with your children, plan to do only that and nothing else. Your children deserve your undivided attention. If you try to talk to your kid while you are cooking, driving or doing something else, chances are you’ll miss on the most important insights your kid might give you about himself.
Pay Attention To Your Child’s Environment
Research has proven that a child’s behaviour and attitudes are shaped largely by the environment that he is brought up in. To know the child better, you should pay attention to the environment he is in . Your child’s behaviour is largely dependent on the kind of people that are around him and how they interact with him. Take time to gauge the kind of ambiance that has been created at home and his school.
Understand How A Child’s Brain Functions
Parents may often know their child’s physiology, but they don’t know how the child’s brain works. The brain is shaped by the experiences that the child has, and this in turn impacts how he responds to different situations. Understanding how a child’s brain functions can help you learn about the kid’s behaviour, his decision-making, social, logical, and cognitive abilities. Knowing how your child’s brain works will help you transform negative experiences or meltdowns into positive experiences or opportunities.
I believe, we all crave those close moments with our children that make our hearts melt. But we’re only human. There are days when all we can do is meet our children’s most basic needs. Some days it’s nothing short of heroic simply to feed them, bathe them, keep an encouraging tone, and get them to sleep at a reasonable hour – so we can do it all over again tomorrow. So given that parenting is the toughest job on earth the only way to keep a strong bond with our children is to understand them and accept them. And you’ll find a lot more of those moments that make your heart melt.
(The author is RCI Child Counsellor)