Rajeev Kumar Nagotra
The world has long envied our Indian family system – a group of young kids growing together in a single house (big or small) learning how to share and value the resources under the watchful and caring eyes of the elderly grandparents while the parents would go about earning and baking the bread. Gradually these kids would grow and step into the roles of their parents who in turn would step into the roles of grandparents. The process used to be smooth, seamless and evolutionary – and all under the same or extended roof demonstrating to the world and the future generations how co-existence is possible and is possibly the only healthy and sustainable way of survival. The most striking feature of the institution of family was that the functions of the different members were not at all hierarchical in theory, although a male and sometimes a female was the nominal head. The functions of the different individuals were, indeed, equally indispensable. The male/female head was and still is only an organizational requirement true of any institution or body – social, political or commercial. Same was the idea of casteism in the society – the division of our society was vertical and not horizontal and the roles were supposed to be equal and not hierarchical. In a horizontal arrangement, the social groups belong to different strata (lower class and upper class, by definition) and the mobility across the horizontal division is possible by hard work and by improving one’s economic status. Ultimately an individual’s worth is gauged by the resources at his command. The western world with its deep roots in materialism and capitalism is a perfect example of this order. Indian thinkers, on the other hand, proposed a vertical division both for the society and the family. Here the barriers were vertical but the groups/members existed on the same horizontal platform (read equality here). The members performed different but equally important functions. So, there was no sense of superiority or inferiority associated with a piece of work. It was just pure work, of equal importance for the sustenance of the family and the society. This arrangement stemmed out of our fundamental understanding of Karma. No work is low or high. An individual’s worth is gauged by the perfection or excellence with which he executes the job and not by the nature of the job. Krishna taught Arjuna, “The perfection of Karma is Yoga”. How could the Yoga of a farmer be any lower or higher than that of a ruler? How could the Yoga of a wife be lower or higher than that of a husband? Thus this idea of equality of the different individuals, roles and functions applied unequivocally to both the society as well as the family. Indeed, we almost had a Unified Theory of sorts for the society as a whole!
Unfortunately, the greed and corruption of the human being turned the thin, permeable and nonjudgmental vertical barriers into rigid walls and mobility across them, which originally was based upon by ability and intent, was rendered absolutely impossible. This produced the degenerated form of casteism that has now long been a stigma on the face of our country. This also led to the male dominated family order in which women are perceived as unequal beings. Furthermore, this has also led to the women empowerment movement that has, in an attempt to restore the balance, ended up overdoing it and shifting the paradigm to the other extreme (such as in the western society and increasingly now in ours).
Let us analyze in detail the degeneration of each constituent of the social system. Certain castes that saw advantage in their position in the society made arrangements for it to become guaranteed for their descendants. So, the king’s son became a king by default (and not by ability or even intent). A cobbler’s son had no choice but to become a cobbler even though he had the traits of a scholar. Furthermore, the vertical barriers were gradually converted into horizontal barriers with priests holding the top slot followed by the rulers, traders and the labourers occupying the lower strata. The roles and functions were no longer equal. One’s Karma became inferior to another’s. This rigidity led to exploitation and anguish. Similarly, at home, the chauvinistic male started taking pride in his own role and responsibilities and subjugating the mothers, the wives, the sisters and the daughters in the family. The Karmas in the family were no longer equal. Here too the exploitation and anguish ensued. The foreign cultures that entered our subcontinent only sharpened the skewness that had already taken roots in our society as well as family. Things went from bad to worse until when in the modern times, the reformers and activists started sensitization campaigns. In the Indian context, the provision of reservation for the underprivileged sections of the society was one perceptible step aimed at restoring the balance of the socio-economic order. On the home front the women emancipation/empowerment movements tried to undo the harm done to the apparently weaker gender in the family over the centuries. These trends are modern, futuristic and considerably inspired from the west, and, therefore, we must keep an eye on the patterns and the stages the advanced societies have witnessed during similar transitions.
Harsh and unpopular though it was, the one-child policy was enforced in China in the late 70’s in order to establish an equilibrium between the resources and the consumption. Fortunately enough, before the policy could irrevocably shift the fulcrum to the other extreme, the leadership began to phase it out starting from the year 2015. Likewise, the reservation policy of India is well meaning in as much as it restores our socio-economic balance. However, it should do just that and must never be allowed to push the dynamics to the other extreme where in the so called “general” category becomes the oppressed class and another cycle of “restoration” becomes necessary. Similarly, on the family front, the empowerment of women is extremely important but care must also be taken that it is not overdone and the male half not victimized in general. Otherwise, a male empowerment movement will also follow and the cycle would never end. The failure of the family system in the west speaks volumes about how detrimental a disproportionate emphasis on an empowerment programme can be. Single parenting, typically by mothers, is prevalent in the west, and, the children end up receiving a skewed upbringing.
The western society is held in place only by law and not by the values. In India, on the other hand, values came naturally and automatically with the joint family system. All this is going to be threatened if a culture of understanding, mutual respect and equality of Karma is not re-established. The pride in earning the bread must end and the shame in housekeeping must end too. All functions are equally important and indispensable. Men and women will have to shun their pride and prejudices for the sustenance of the society and for their personal and spiritual growth. The renowned writer, politician and the Governor of Goa, Mridula Sinha, offered a valuable refrain last year when she suggested adding “parivar bachao” to the “beti bachao, beti padhao” slogan. Elucidating the need for passing on values and culture she said, “There is a need for grandparents in a family. They play a key role in inculcating values and culture. I have also urged universities to add courses on family management in syllabi.” Indeed the rising levels of elder abuse and child neglect in the current socio-economic order of India as reflected in the World Health Organization (WHO) indices is a kind reminder for our policymakers to be watchful.
In conclusion, the Indian family and society are undergoing a phase of transition. The role of the leaders, the policymakers and the civil society is to enable a transition that causes minimum hurt and damage and precludes the need for another cycle of restoration of balance (in the opposite direction, that is).
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