Dr Tasaduq Itoo
The greatest life skill is to put up a smile when you fail in one test and go on to celebrate, no matter what the people say. Never punish yourself for failures in examinations, presentations, tests etc. Punishment harms you further and lowers your self-esteem and confidence level while celebrating results in self-realization.
We have heard from many motivational speakers that trying and failing at something is no fun. We feel upset, disappointed, frustrated and irritated. The problem with this reaction to failure is that it shuts us down and makes us not want to try anymore, and that’s what leads to true failure: a lack of further attempts. On the other hand, if we can learn to celebrate our failures as steps toward eventual success, we will continue to put in effort, keep trying, and eventually achieve the results which will fulfil our needs, wants and demands.
The key ingredient that separates champions from everyone else is not talent or ability. It does not simply work ethic because a lot of athletes are willing to work hard. It’s not better through coaching or training opportunities. The crucial difference that makes a difference in determining how successful you’ll be in both sports and life has to do with one word: FAILURE. How you handle your failures, setbacks and mistakes will ultimately determine whether you soar with the eagles or gobble with the turkeys.
Sometimes the failures come in an expected way while other times in an unexpected manner. Nobody would like to appreciate failures in life. Failures are usually threatening, disappointing and painful. But this disappointment has no reality; it is just here to sensitize you more towards success. As we have been imbibing quotes from many great authors, scientists and other great personalities in the world, who have been failures in life multiple times and thence achieved greatly in their lives. But still, we are not able to appreciate our failures. So let us take failures as opportunities to grow. Rather I would say failures are stepping – stone to success.
There may be a disagreement about celebrating failure: We want to think ahead by trying new things. We want to innovate and embrace failures as part of the inventive process. At the same time, we want to be in control of our outcomes. We cannot afford to make mistakes because it is quiet natural when a person discern good or bad of the experiment, he/she can opt for safe things to get good results. This of-course leads to a dilemma: We tell ourselves to fail and learn. But we really don’t want to fail. You probably agree that it can be very beneficial to embrace failures in certain areas – in an honest and consistent manner. But in other areas, we cannot allow for mistakes. The point is, to become aware of this distinction. Clarity is key.
Just like you celebrate success, the same way finds out to celebrate failures with a bit of change in perception. Suppose, you fail in any matter of your life say, for example in your career at some point. Instead of getting your morale down, take the positive and learn to appreciate them. This doesn’t mean you are less intelligent than others instead you are unique and dignified in yourself.
God has created you in the form of a beautiful and elegant creation that is ‘Human’. So you have the capabilities, talent and intelligence that you can use to tackle any failure or situation and touch skies. You might have failed due to your under-effort, less preparation, weaknesses or other factors. Just try to find out the cause of why you failed and work on that. Your bit improvement is a stepping-stone of a ladder that leads you to success. So definitely success is waiting for you through the process of failures. You may land into so many problems that will hinder your flight towards success if you don’t learn to appreciate your failures. So come on let us change our thought of negativity and make it positive.
The story of King Bruce is a very good example of this saying. He lost a battle and his enemies took his kingdom. The king wanted to fight the enemies and organized a very large army. He fights against his enemies and lost. This happened eight times and the eighth time he lost very heavily and so he was hiding in a cave. He was very dejected and disheartened and then he saw a spider trying to build a web. The spider could not link the web at a particular point and he tried any number of times and finally built it successfully. On looking at this, the king thought, “If a spider can try so many times, I can also do it”. He immediately started organizing an army and finally, he won.
Even in Science inventions and discoveries do not happen overnight. Thomas Alva Edison was a very great inventor and he tried more than a thousand times to make the filament bulb. On knowing this a reporter asked him whether Edison wasted his times in his efforts. Edison said, “No I just found a thousand ways in which I could not make the filament bulb.”
All too often athletes tend to get so upset with themselves after they fail that they distract themselves from the valuable information that is waiting for them within the failure. Getting angry at yourself for messing up is a total waste of time. It serves no constructive value. It doesn’t motivate you. It doesn’t build your confidence and it certainly doesn’t help you correct your mistakes. When you lose or otherwise fail to keep in mind that within this disappointment you’ll find the secrets to your ultimate success.
Failure is feedback and feedback is the breakfast of champions. Failure is not something to be dreaded. It’s not something to be actively avoided. It’s merely something to be curious about after it happens. Curious as in, “what could I have done differently here to have changed my result?” “What did I do wrong and what caused that?” etc.
Life is a long journey and in the course of life and career, one has to face many ups and downs. One can meet several troubles and obstacles on the way of life but should not be disheartened on these situations. So we should always regard failure as the first step or stepping stone to success. We should learn to celebrate the failures the way we are celebrating success as failures give a better point of view through which we can march our way onto success.So, start celebrating your successes and your failures and go out there and change the world!
Dr Tasaduq Itoo