Gauri Chhabra
Last week I got a call from one of my friends. She has a very high profile job in the field of education- a job that most people would be envious of. Ironically, she felt stuck and unchallenged in her current profile. She wanted to spread her wings but did not know how and she felt miserable. Does it ring a bell? Are we all, at some point of time stuck in our current careers? Well, I have felt so at several occasions in my life.
A few years ago, I felt miserable in my career, I’d think every single day, “I’m wasting my life doing this work. It’s so pointless.” I’d agonize over the question, “What abilities do I have that I can apply to another field that I will love and find more meaningful? Unfortunately, I stayed paralyzed for years in the negative cycle of thinking that only special people are blessed with loving their work. I thought, “That’s just not going to be possible for me.” I believed that my longings to make a difference and have a positive impact, and do work that was aligned with my interests and values, were foolish, childish fantasies. I thought that you had to be wildly creative, innovative, or brilliant to do work you love and make a mark. I’d look at others and think “They are so happy with their work, so creative. I’m just the money bags.”
If you feel the same way and think you will do something about it when you have the time, let me tell you- our lives are short, time is precious, and we shouldn’t waste it. Every single human being on this planet has amazing gifts and talents, but the vast majority of us don’t recognize our abilities as “gifts.” We think that what comes naturally to us is also easy for everyone else. Unfortunately, we don’t understand how powerful these gifts are, or that we’re meant to use our special talents in our work. In fact, that’s the whole point of a profession- to be value generating rather than just being revenue generating. The happiest professionals dig deep to find what they’re great at and what they love to do, then carve out a path where they can use these talents to be of service to others.
You can figure out what you’re good at and what you enjoy, and then find some form of work that matches it. And you don’t have to go broke to do it. I know this because I’ve done it myself, and worked with thousands of people from all walks of life whose harsh skepticism melts away when they finally decide to be of service using their natural talents, and make a good living at it. You don’t have to rich, privileged and special to create work that honors what you have inside of you and helps others.
Put a full stop to it:
If you find your work empty and meaningless and don’t want to do it one day more, don’t wait till eternity. Just put an end to it. Period. Just decide, “I’m done with this, and I believe I deserve more and can have more.” Build a stronger and larger support network of people who believe in you and will help you get there. Start asking for help and new ideas about what you could do. Hold an idea party with the friends you trust most and help each other identify new directions that may be a fit. Ditch the folks in your life who say that building a happy, rewarding and successful career you’ll love is not for you. Chuck the people who don’t want you to be all you want to be in the world. Make a commitment that career happiness, success and reward is for you, and don’t take no for an answer.
Listen to that dim voice within you:
You have an inner voice- nudging you, criticizing you, guiding you. But when did you last pay heed to it? Learn from your inner critic.
Your inner critic is the voice of scarcity, fear, naysaying and protection. The inner critic desperately tries its best to keep you from blowing it, and can actually be helpful at times. More often than not, however, it cuts you off at the knees and tells you to avoid anything risky, unsure, unknown and potentially failure-producing. Ask that inner voice, “What are you most afraid of?” Then look at that input you receive as data to consider. Make sure you sufficiently address the fears and concerns of the inner critic, but then move beyond it. Failure is not something to avoid or to be deathly afraid of. Failure is something to embrace and learn from. If you don’t allow yourself to fail, you’re not growing. Don’t be a slave to the voice that tells you you’ll never have the life you want or you’ll lose everything if you try to love your work.
Explore:
Gain greater awareness so you can have greater choice.
There are so many people around us every day who have absolutely no awareness of why they think and behave the way they do. They’re reactive, angry, resentful and blaming, but they never stop to see the part they’re playing in their misery. You are 50% of every unhappy situation and relationship. End of story. What can you do with your 50% to become more aware of why you’re stuck and unhappy? What negative patterns keep repeating themselves, wherever you go and wherever you work? What new choices can you make to get unstuck? Start exploring.
Your inner critic will be calmed when you commit to doing thorough, exhaustive research before you make a move. An exciting new path of doing work you love that helps others begins with your brainstorming and exploring. Start doing research to explore potential new directions that will make use of the talents and skills you love to use. Don’t cut this process short. Spend time uncovering new jobs, functions, fields and roles that need the natural talents you have, understand what these directions will demand of you, then “try them on” in every way conceivable – physically, spiritually, behaviorally and emotionally.
Interview scores of people who are doing work that seems exciting to you, shadow professionals, sit in on a class, do some consulting, spearhead a new cause, lead a new project, launch a new program, teach a class – whatever you can do to physically experience the reality of this professional direction. Then integrate the new information you learn, and keep moving towards your vision.Then integrate the new information you learn, and keep moving towards your vision.
Set goals:
Finally, you can’t go move towards your vision and achieve it in a month. This process of identifying who you really are and determining the directions that will align best with your values, visions and needs – takes time, energy, patience, trust and commitment. You’ve got to be ready to turn yourself inside and out and stretch and expand yourself, if you want great success in your work. It’s not going to fall in your lap – you have to reach out and grab it, and do the inner and outer work of change.You also need a plan, with specific, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely goals, and someone in your court to hold you accountable.
Again, don’t try this on your own. You’ll fail. Get help, build a plan with milestones that you can measure, and get on the path to expanding yourself so that you are a true match with the great career you long for.
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