Ashok Sharma
Marriage is an important institution which has played a significant role in the organisation and development of society.According to Hindu traditions, marriage is a sacrosanct rite and the bond between the husband and the wife is everlasting, pious and unbreakable.So many rituals are performed amidst the chanting of Vedic mantras on the ocassion of solemnisation of marriage in order to purify the body , mind and the soul in order to enable the couple to work together for living a successful life.They say, A son is a son till he gets a wife while a daughter is daughter all her life’.As time progresses and the daughter reaches adolescence after passing through the periods of childhood and puberty, parents get worried for her marriage and start looking for suitable alliance for her.Though the marriage of a son is a joyous ocassion,perhaps marriage of a daughter is one such occassion which is drenched with both joy and pain for parents, especially for the father, who silently watches his sweet princess leaving her home for her inlaws to get love and affection from a man other than he.
It is said that a girl is close to her father than to her mother as mother is an epitome of discipline and restriction for her while father is like her friend who is always ready to help and support her everytime.He is the first man in her life whom she looks up with pride and joy and whether he is rich or poor, she is always a little princess to him.In other words, there is an envious and special relationship and unbeatable understanding between a father and his daughter.While the daughter helps in bringing out the best father in a man, father is always busy in raising a wonderful and confident girl.In due course of time, she may outgrow her father’s lap but she can never outgrow his loving heart.
As the daughter grows from an infant to a teenager and develops into an adolescent, she is perhaps more attached to the father than to her mother and frequently shares her joys and achievments with the father.The father too has a big impact on her life and shapes her into a confident and wonderful girl in order to face the challanges of life.For her, he is adorable and role model and it is he who shapes her opinion about men.As she grows into adolescence, a father gets worried to seek a suitable partner for his daughter.He is ready with his long questionaire for his prospective son-in-law.Everything about him, including his financial status, famiy background, past record etc.is put under a scanner to ensure that his daughter gets the best of the groom.While choosing her life partner, he often doubts his finesse whether he is doing the right thing or not while giving his most precious pearl to a stranger.His joy knows no bounds when he finds the most suitable groom for his darling daughter. Soon after arrangements for marriage start and time flies very fast.As the day of marriage approaches, father starts having mixed emotions surging in him.The excitement associated with the wedding arrangements makes it the busiest and happiest time of the father’s life while the fact that his sweet princess will soon be leaving him to join her in laws saddens him.Father, unable to control his emotions, often spends sleepless nights and frequently looks at the photographs and albums of his baby dolls while others in the family are generally unaware of his emotional state of mind.The thought of his daughter going to get married and leaving them soon for her inlaws makes him happy and sad at the same time.At times,he has all the feelings of pride and joy for the girl he raised to the woman she has now become.At last, the day of marriage dawns and On this day, father, though being on fast,is too busy to ensure that every thing goes well and the marriage function is properly organised and culminated and there is little time for him to have such thoughts.The bridal songs, especially the folk songs called ‘suhaags’ sung by the friends of the bride and other women accentuate the pain of separation.These songs have such moving lyrics which can move the heart of the toughest father and he breaks down.Things move on , the Barat arrives, the ceremony of ‘Milni’ takes place and the father and maternal uncle of the bride and the bridegroom embrace eachother to begin the new relationship between the two families.As the groom arrives and the bride enters the reception hall wearing joy and radiance on her face,the two appear as the most beautiful couple in the world and father feels happy and proud.
But it is the final chapter of the marriage of a daughter is which is the most emotional one.It is painful for the father to realise that his daughter will no longer stay at his home.As the time for Kanyadaan comes when father officially places his daughter’s hand in the hands of the groom to hand over the responsibilty of fulfilling the physical and emotional needs of his daughter to the inlaws, his patience fails him and he can’t hold his tears back and help cry bitterly.He refuses to accept that now there will be another man to whom his beloved daughter will turn for love,affection and protection.He feels overwhelmed and it is the most emotional moment for him but he makes desperate attempts to control himself.As she takes her last steps out of her parents’home leaving behind a large number of impressions of sweet memories behind, everybody sheds tears.But there is one man who,standing away from others, is choked and he is the father of the bride.
To him, she has never been a burden; instead she is a reason for him as to why he breathes and lives.He is filled with joy, love, affection and warmth for his little princess whom he taught to take first steps, help dress in the morning, take her to school and who graduated from the college and who is now all set to start a new life of her own.He finds it hard to believe that his daughter is leaving his home and will spend the rest of her life at a home other than his.His mind is flooded with the memories of the little sweet girl whom he brought up with so much love and affection.He rememebers how she would hug her when he came back from work and all his tensions would fade away.But the fact that a daughter is born to be separated from the parents and that his sweetheart is happily married ,is a heavenly feeling for him and he prays to God to shower His choicest blessings on his daughter and her inlaws.
(The writer is serving as lecturer in English in Govt.Hr.Sec.School (Boys) Udhampur).
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