So the deal about names…

Avanti Sopory
If I write Rosa or Rosaceae, will you be able to guess the name? Hint – velvet petals with an ethereal fragrance; romanced by entire empires’ of the world. Yes, that’s a Rose. Had I called it with some other name but stated the same characteristics; would you still be able to tell that it was a rose? Absolutely yes!
So, what’s this big fuss about names? What you become off as a human being, plays over what you were named when you were born.  In Hebrew, Syria means as bright as the Sun. Now what is bright and what is sunny in that part of the world is anybody’s guess.
Naming a new-born is a huge deal, especially in India. Fearing female foeticide; revealing the gender of the unborn child is illegal; therefore the hullabaloo begins right after the new-born, swaddled in Dettol emanating wraps is handed over to the big eyed relatives. “Congratulations! Aunty, it’s a baby girl”. And then the Aunty thinks, “Ah! I can name her after my late mother…or maybe my Bua, who loved me so much…or maybe the name of some Goddess…or maybe…”  Grandmother’s head is popping with names, names and only names.
While the new Mom, inside the OT may be unconscious beyond her spine, but her mind is volleying back and forth with the options that Google may throw.  Untill… The two women power houses barrage the Pundit with their options on the day of Naamkaran. Hilarious; it looks more like a war-zone of ego’s between the two women, than about naming the unoffending baby.
If the daughter-in-law finds her way with the name, then no one can stop the disgruntled daughter-in-law from changing her baby’s name from the “meaningless” name given by the grandparents to a more suave name of her choice. Thereon it’s only about laborious follow-ups with the administrative authorities for the name change. Post; the child will be in the league of polynym: Baby, Golu, Chotu, Sonu, Monu, Raju are some of the sugar-coated, honey -dipped names that each family member will call the new born with. Thereby confusing the little brain with the name of their like. This excludes the further bewilderment his teacher might cause by calling the baby with his formal name.
AKA( also known as). PKA  (professional known as). FKA      (formerly known as). Plato, the Greek philosopher, who was a mononymous, must be blessed by history researchers for not confusing them with his many names. Surprisingly in the ancient times adding the family name, clan name, village name, social stature name, occupation type; to the given name was a norm.
The most harassing name change-game begins for women, immediately after she gets married. She has to prove to the municipality, to her own, old office HR, to any legal entity, to the Passport office, to her bank and to all sundry authorities in the world that she is the same woman that she was before her wedding. Her thumbprints and DNA testifies to be the same as it was during her maiden days. But they refuse to trust her.  Maybe, they think that she is another new secret agent from across the border, barging into the Indian terrain through the ruffled seas at Mumbai docks. Feminism is not in the offering here, but sadly even this brunt of ‘adjustment’ falls on the woman than on the married man. Unapologetically, their nursery admission or matriculation name still holds them correct in front of all the courts of the world. While his better half embarks on another journey of proving her identity to the same set of people.
Post marriage, her name becomes a single, double or triple entity. This is disputable and bizarre. If her name ends with her maiden surname, then raised eyebrows presume that she doesn’t have a healthy relation with her in-laws. Why does your name still carry your father’s name? It wasn’t long ago when Twinkle Khanna was asked about not having changed her title from Khanna to Kumar. Whether she remains Khanna or moves to Kumar; is that ever going to change the Twinkle she is?
Why haven’t you removed your maiden surname from your title? Oh! Yes. You wish to have a stylised name like Malaika Arora Khan. Feigning family equity and marital bliss to the relatives and friends on Facebook; that’s how the argument ends. Befuddlement. On all fronts. Who cares for the person, her nature, her behaviour, her likes and dislikes?
Madras is Chennai. Bangalore is Bengaluru. Gurgaon is Gurugram. Calcutta is Kolkatta. They may continue to breathe in the same chaos on the roads, the malfunctioned red lights, the morning milk and bread delivery, the potholes of rain water. Life is still. Craziness is same. A change in name has had no impact on the quality of life. The Russian town of St Peterburg was changed to numerous names in between, before being announced as St Peterburg again. The in between name diversity occurred as a function of the sitting Czars or Governments political relations and status.
Bell pepper is to capsicum what brinjal is to eggplant. Reasoning Aptitude Test, confirms that these are different names given for the same vegetable. Not surprising, the name alteration has not changed the taste of the veggies. And so on and so forth the saga of changing names continues.
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet”. Was the original piece of advice given by Shakespeare, many names ago in his famous play ‘Romeo and Juliet’. Despite; we are still obsessed with multiple layers and multiple names.  Actually Juliet is still alive, knocking and telling us that Romeo is just her lover, she doesn’t care if he hails from the rival house of Montague. May be its time we wake up and accept that my friend means more to me than just the name he carries.
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