Ashok Sharma
Sibling rivalry is a term introduced by David Levy in 1941.It is a type of competition or animosity among.siblings whether they are blood related or not.Sibling rivalry is not confined to human beings only.It is prevalent among various animal species in the form of competition for food and parental care.Sibling rivalry assumes ferocity when young animals kill their younger siblings.For example,a black eagle mother lays two eggs and the first hatched chick pecks the younger chick to death within the first few days.The Book of Genesis in Bible also has many examples of sibling rivalry.English literature too abounds in instances of sibling rivalry.For example,in the famous Shakespeare’splay ‘King Lear’ Edmund contrives a plot to force his half brother Edgar into exile.In ‘TheTaming of the Shrew’,the two sisters Kate.& Bianca have been portrayed as always fighting.There are also examples of sibling rivalry from the real world.The famous tennis star sisters Venus Williams and Serena Williams are reported to have hostile relations with eachother.The bitter rivalry between Anil Ambani and Mukesh Ambani after the death of their father Dhirubhai Ambani is too well known to need mention here.
The causes of sibling rivalry are many. The first and most important cause of sibling rivalry is the fact that siblings spend more time with each other than they spend with their parents,especially in the modern age when both the parents are working couples.They come to know about the imperfections of eachother as too much familiarity breeds contempt and thus develop rivalry for each other.Research studies have revealed that siblings are sensitive from the age of one year to differences in parental treatment and by three years they can evaluate themselves in relation to other siblings.Moreover,children have different temperaments,mood,disposition,adaptability etc.and they react differently to parental treatment.Besides,some children may require special emotional and physical care because of their special needs such as sickness,mental and physical disability etc.The siblings in such cases may feel that they are getting unequal parental care,attention,discipline and responsiveness.This leads to the rivalry between the siblings and it is reported that siblings in the age group of 10-15 years have the highest and strongest level of rivalry between them.Sibling rivalry decreases with time and older siblings above 60 years enjoy closer ties.
Whatever be the cause,sibling rivalry can be very frustrating and stressful to the parents.So parents need to take steps to prevent sibling rivalry.They should not compare and typecast their children under any circumstances.They ought to accept the fact that each child is a different organism and spend quality time with each of them giving due attention to his/ her hobbies and attitudes.It is also the duty of the parents to plan fun and family activities together. For instance, they can watch movies or go for a picnic together.Parents should also encourage teamwork and never hold one child as rolemodel for the other or indulge themselves in acts of favourtism.
They should set rules for acceptable social behaviour and teach them positive ways to ask for attention instead of resorting to yelling,namecalling, doorslamming etc. If the children squabble over the same thing such as television,videogame etc,parents should fix a schedule. Parents should not get involved when siblings fight with each other and let them resolve the crisis themselves. Last but not the least,parents should provide sufficient time,space and attention to each child and let them feel that they are safe, important and loved and their needs will be met.
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