Mohanji
Many people have spoken over the years about what makes a person happy: some said money, others said possessions; numerous people said numerous things. But the question is, is that happiness permanent? Does it expand your heart? What actually makes us happy, or what makes us feel worthwhile in this world? What makes us feel there is life?
If something cannot give you fulfilment, it’s just a temporary pleasure. Happiness is perpetual and reasonably permanent, with minor ups and downs.
I would say relationships, especially today, when we sacrifice our health in pursuit of sensory pleasures and in search of future happiness. We think that happiness lies in the future when we will earn a lot of money. Happiness has to happen right now.
In the world of social media, smartphones and the Internet, we have swapped real relationships with virtual ones. The problem with virtual relationships is that they are artificial. You feel there is a relationship – when people like your messages, you feel great. When people do not like your messages, you experience a drop in dopamine levels.
Acceptance
Real relationships are very important. Happiness is not in material wealth. You have to wisely invest yourself, your time and energy in relationships to have great happiness.
The attitude of acceptance plays a big role in maintaining a good relationship. If you criticise, judge or constantly analyse someone, you fail to love that person. You must accept a person as he is: both the strengths and the weaknesses. Stop judging completely.
Failures and successes are a part of life; a part of us. We must not judge others because they’ve failed in certain things. Accept that everybody, including you, can fail or succeed. Without this understanding, you cannot maintain strong relationships.
Quality of Relationships
Quantity of relationships has no value; it is the quality that matters. Quality directly depends on whether you are able to spend time with a person, cultivating it and nurturing the relationship. To have a feeling of oneness or togetherness, you should nurture a meaningful relationship.
Invest in Relationships
Real wealth is in relationships; gratifications like social media and virtual relationships are all signs of deterioration. These addictions cannot give you permanent satisfaction.
Try to nurture friendships and good relationships. Make them your real strength; avoiding judging, criticising, comparing or competing with them. Have very few expectations because expectations destroy relationships. Invest more of yourself into a relationship rather than expecting others to do more for you.
Be aware of what’s your real wealth. You need friends who you can hug, love, and be with. When you are down and somebody hugs you and says, “I am with you,” it really brings you back to your original state.
Your material wealth may pass from yours hands at some point, but the relationships that you build will stay because they regenerate while you are at it. Relationships are like plants: the more you invest yourself in nurturing a plant, the bigger the tree in the future.
You can have expanded, fruitful and meaningful relationships – helping and supporting each other. Such real relationships are your real wealth. Relationships can also expand from human beings to nature – beings of other species, trees, plants etc.
What to Avoid
When a flower blooms, it not only attracts butterflies and honeybees but also moths and insects. Stay away from toxic, parasitic relationships, which suck your blood and energy. Invest more in friendships that are regenerative and positive, who stand with you at your weakest.
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