Akhtar-ul-nisha
Graciousness means being cordial, affable and sociable in our interaction. It is how to appreciate and do good things in our daily life. Feeling thankful is how to appreciate all the good stuff and be a whole lot happier every day. Express appreciation to someone every day, this week being super specific. Write a heartfelt letter to a friend, family member or mentor detailing how they impacted your life in a positive way. If possible, read it aloud in person to share it. Find volunteering opportunities that interest you.
We should do this either because of humanity or at least out of intelligence. When you are ambitious, you plan your life in a particular direction and you take some steps at the expense of others. If we build a house or cross a pathway it is at the cost of others. But every moment of our life whatever we do it is someone else’s cost then we should consider changing our activity. Ambition is essentially a mission but it is about you. It is good to have a mission but let it not be about you only. If your mission is about everything around you, you will undoubtedly see positive results.
When we stop and recall look, we see that we are supported continuously in countless ways by a number of things and people. When we plan our life in a particular direction, we take some steps at the expense of others. So, we should try to do things in the largest scale. Our thoughts, emotions and our humanity must happen at the highest scale. Only then, your activity will not be at someone else, cost. Why to love only one person in the family, community or neighborhood why not all be treated equally. All religions emphasize the need for forming a mature conscience. Religion teaches us our duty towards God and others in the society. Every religion teaches us the cherished moral values like truth, sacrifice, honesty, patience, empathy, and respect for elders.
All those things that are not at anybody’s cost must be scaled up to full size. Material things are always at somebody else’s cost. So, let us keep it only to the extent necessary. But how much is necessary must be left to one’s decision. We must be sane enough to see that these decisions must come from our compassion and not because of fancy or vanity. We must choose humanity not vanity. We must be gracious enough to people who are old and distressed in fact to every human being and all the creatures on earth
Let us see now how we can cultivate the Graciousness in our life. We can do this by following ways.
Make a Gratitude habit: Try to appreciate the good things of everyday life and feel thankful to all the good stuff. Research has shown that being grateful and counting blessings has many benefits from better sleep to reducing depression. It also helps us to be optimistic respectful and helpful.
Notice the good: Identify the good things in others and appreciate them. Count the good things of your family and things you are grateful for.
Count the blessings not the deficiencies: The most grateful people use language that emphasizes gifts, blessing, fortune and abundance. Less grateful people remain preoccupied with burdens, deprivation, entitlement and complaints.”
Go beyond yourself: -Improve yourself to say thanks to friends, family and community.
Upgrade thanks: – Say thanks to everyone who so ever has made a favor for you whether big or small. Do not journal just about people you like but also about those who have been there for you for your loved ones. Call out these indirect joy bringers (like care takers who assist your ailing mom or dad, the teachers who is endlessly patient with your child).
Find a silver lining: – Consider how quitting a bad job opened the door to a new opportunity. Consider how much imperfect and unpleasant experiences actually benefitted you.
Take it to your work place: – Appreciate the people at your workplace also and feel the positive vibes of your gratitude have boomerang effects. People who practice gratitude daily have higher level of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, attentiveness and energy than who did not. Gratitude is the important element of successful enthusiasm.
Take Gratitude to your dining table: Before partaking your dinner with your family members, close your eyes for few seconds to pay gratitude to God who provided dinner to the whole family.
Have a Sharing Attitude: – Performing acts of kindness and sharing thankful thoughts have many positive effects on mood and health. Expressing gratitude lowers blood pressure, gives better quality sleep, improves relationship and lower the depression level.
Be positive and sensitive: – To be gracious we must become positive, receptive, joyous, creative and sensitive. We need to change from mind to heart and your heart to intuitive being. Think less feel more, feel the gratitude of life. It makes you to learn something deeper which will help you to manage the life creatively. Love is an essential feeling which brings connectedness and the feeling of jealously brings disconnection and isolation. Isolation hurts for that is a state of disorder and depression. Extend loving kindness to the whole humankind and living being including animal and plant kingdom and feel a personal sense of interconnectedness towards everything.
(The author is working in Psychiatric diseases Hospital of GMC Jammu as Social worker and Counselor)
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