God help India

Prof Parveen Singh
To the pantheon of 33crore 55lakhs 75thousand 5hundred and forty three gods, another one has just been added. The All India Organisation for New Gods and their Rituals (AIONGR) has just updated its website for the same. The new god has been selected based upon an empirical formulae that has been used for the past five thousand years and which uses several well defined criterions for the exercise.
One of the most important criterions for selecting a god has been related to the amount of collective angst of the bhaktas (devotees) due to cataclysms or tribulations beyond the control of ordinary humans. Such events call for identification of the god of the related department and his adequate placation through prayers, pleas and sacrifices. The recent power outages and the power supply woes afflicting our nation fulfilled all the requisite benchmarks. So we must pay our obeisance and ritual  ‘ namaskaras ‘ to our latest god the veritable ” Vidyut Devta “. He rides on the electric grids with copper wiring in one hand and a variety of electric equipments in his other hands. Indeed his glories are many and boons innumerable. A word of caution is however necessary, he also is a god with a vicious temper and capricious traits. For example he refused to ride the grid at all for two whole days while the nation sweltered profusely in collective agony.
This year he was parsimonious with his boons as the irratic electric supply testified.  His favourite bhaktas however rode the summer out in considerable luxury. The ” netas and babus “, people who have due to their exceedingly good karma in previous births come to become the defacto rulers of our nation come under that category. The common man must perform the under the table ‘namaskars’ to the priests of the power department to attain any sort of salvation.
Historically speaking, the situation wasn’t always the same. The ” Vidyut devta’s ” wrath has been simmering due to the rising illegal trafficking of electricity and gross mismanagement of funds by the power preists. Almost 34% power generated is lost in illegal trafficking or transmission losses. The VD (Vidyut Devta) doesn’t take lightly to such splurging of his precious gifts. His gifts are concentrated mainly upon the urban elite whereas an estimated 300 million languish in absolute darkness and the rural bhaktas receiving only the token service in name of electricity. The woes of the sector are in large part due to the ‘ neta sura ‘, the mythological monsters who have tormented the grid by playing to petty politics and distributing free electricity, mismanaged the available resources and always seeked mere private gains.
VD if made angry is known to exterminate the demons by electrocuting them with his 10, 000 volts current at 50 hz. Lores tell of times when he electrocuted entire parliaments of ‘ neta suras ‘. Such times sadly, are a thing of past. In the present scenario, there is an urgent need to check all the transmission losses by installation of smart meters. Incidents relating to the thefts and surreptitious official backing need to be strongly dealt with. New sources of energy generation that would lessen the reliance of our country on non renewable power sources need to be put in place if any viable long term solution to the problem is to be proposed. But most of all, it us bhaktas of the veritable VD who should embrace a greener lifestyle and a more honest one too.
It is said that when darkness rules and there appears no succour, VD would be incarnated amongst us and he would rid us of the demons. So, until the time that happens let us take our hand fans and rotate them in worship of our newest lord VD.
(The author is HoD Department of Computer Sciences, SPMR Commerce College)


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