Inderjeet Sambyal
Something extremely disturbing and appalling transpired on June 14, 2020. A fine actor, a humanitarian committed suicide. He was young, talented with admirable personal interests and had a long way to go, in his career and life. Sushant Singh Rajput was only 34.I have honestly not been able to stop thinking, he came across as gentle, soft-spoken and good-natured. The news shook me up; it was distressing and unimaginable, to say the least. Someone says, depression is like drowning, except you can see everyone around you breathing. One assumes it’s a totally strange, an unknown, yet a really scary space, and it is unquestionably much more than sorrowful. I am talking about a certain kind of depression which results in us taking our own lives! One is unable to fathom how it must feel, to experience the intensity of the emotion, to such a terrifying strength. It has to be a sheer frenzy of the mind; because it all happens in seconds. One wishes, one did not have to understand this unfortunate thing, but the mind is so much more complex and baffling. It is not necessary to talk in clichés, nor undermine or joke about this facet of our personalities. It is not correct to even ‘teach’!’ Mental illness’ is not funny, not whimsical, and clearly not eccentric. It’s a call for help! Asking for help is not a weakness. On the contrary, it is an acceptance of us being human. We just want someone to reach out to, someone to listen, someone to appreciate our emotional roller coasters and outbursts. It is solely about compassion, not sympathy, not scorn and certainly not a farce. It’s farcical and shallow out there and we seem to enjoy it, this uncaring, callous approach to one and all. We have the privilege of being inhuman, insensitive and unruffled to another’s sorrows and anguish. At the same time, we seem to enjoy the semblances of unselfishness and concern. Certain social arenas have untiringly assisted us in our struggles to paint false auras, hence keeping up with so-called ‘acceptable conduct’. Such is ‘acceptable social norms’ and the ‘social benchmark’ is constantly taking on alarming levels. We fail to listen and process another’s emotions, because we’re wondering how we can use another’s misery to boost our fake persona. We have the privilege of bringing forth this semblance extremely accurately. We have this capacity, and yes… we are shameless in this attempt. One does not wish to continue with the fallacies of online social arenas which we all use to share our feelings, taking into consideration false accounts, disclosures and rumours. We are unsure of what is accurate and honest.
My stance on compassion and humaneness though remains intact. These are trying times, a little concern for another’s position, some honest soul-searching and genuine kindness are aspects which will in the long run, test our worthiness of being human. Silence is not a cure for acute emotional stress and mental unwellness. Hang in there. Reach out and have faith. In today’s fast competitive world all the things are moving at super-speed – job, career, education, relationship. The expectations have increased at all level and to fulfil these expectations, we run and run till our last breath. In this marathon of expectations, some lose speed while others lose their confidence. So, what is the recourse for such people? Anxiety, insomnia, loss of hunger, irritability, diminished intellect, addiction and suicides are common things that we see among the people who lose confidence. A series of counselling lectures, religious ceremonies in form of various poojas of God, superstitious practices, medication, sleeping pills etc.
Will it Help? The answer is No. The person who has low-confidence and develops symptoms related to mental health can only be cured if he or she decides to cure himself. This is the therapy of mind. As per the science of Homeopathy, anything wrong at the level of mind reflects at a physical level in the form of symptoms. The symptoms of anger, irritability, insomnia, i.e. lack of sleep, loss of hunger, restless syndrome is a physical reflection of a disturbed mind. When any person has anything wrong in his life in the form of a job conflict or a relationship conflict or has a sense of insecurity, it is the mind which first gets affected. Once the mind comes in a conflict zone the next area to get affected is physical and it can affect any part of the body. So, what should be done and how it should be done? The Person who wants to get cure should first understand it is he or she himself who can solve own problem. As the person himself is in the conflict zone, no one else can understand his or her problem. Also, he or She should realise that anything bad to him or any harm to him is not going to affect the society around him. Success and failure are part of life and relationship. No one in this world can say I never failed or I have never had trouble in my relationship. The people around will show sympathy for one day but after some time all will get busy in their respective lives. As nothing is permanent in this world, conflict and reasons also cannot remain permanent. It is time which needs to be given and effort to correct the mistakes. Also never develop guilt for your past. If you have any guilt express it as it helps in the long run as well as it helps others to appreciate you for your honesty. A person should never develop fear for any blackmail. Over here you need to understand that people around you will threaten you till you don’t give them back. Sometimes it feels ok to be physically broken, rather than holding pain inside. At least there is no faking strength. One must know that it is ok to show when something is not ok. People today kill themselves just to show they are living. Frustrations, stress, anxiety, financial situations, toxic relationships, pressures etc. are some of the causes to get us depressed in life.
To no surprise, we find n number of new reasons in recent decades. Are we losing the positive face of our life? Unlike our older generations, who were way too optimistic about life. It is not that our older generation has not faced any critical conditions in life or stuck in any of the situations and struggled for not being able to come out of it. The view towards their life made wonders. The word depression existed long back but has become a new fashion only in recent times. Depression is the mental health disorder; it is characterized by persistent sadness and a lack of interest or pleasure in previously rewarding or enjoyable activities as given by WHO. The numerical facts given by WHO in recent times is that close to 8,00,000 people die due to suicide every year. Suicide is the third leading cause of death in 15-19-year-olds (globally in 2016).As per Indian Journal Psychiatry, more than one lakh lives are lost every year due to suicide in India. In the last three decades, the suicide rate has been increased by 43%.Are there no chances of overcoming this disorder? Is it difficult to come out of it? The major symptom of depression is losing interest in any of the daily life activities. Though it is difficult to show the first step like interestingly doing things or doing something which will boost up the mood and energy, it is never impossible.
We should remember one thing that everyone deserves a second chance. Life doesn’t get that worse, that you penalise yourself to death. Whose fault is it that many lives are ended? Is it that we are unable to recognise the pain hidden behind a smiling face? Or are we busy dealing with our own, that these problems are the part and parcel of everyday life? Is it that we have made our lives so miserable, in the process of making it perfect? Increase in the options to deal with the problems is proof that the problems are growing rather than disappearing. We are responsible for the life that we have. Instead of making it perfect, we should learn to accept. These lives which had every chance to restart has now stopped. The grief that life had gone through is unimaginable. It’s a pathetic truth that we are not learning anything out of it. The suicidal thoughts that came in the way would have silently begged for help! No one would ever want to end their life. It is that they need some push to show themselves that they deserve another chance. The problems or extreme frustration levels lead to depression. Getting support and staying connected plays an essential role in overcoming the disorder. The very nature of depression is making it more difficult to reach out for help. Talking to people who are very close to you becomes exhausted. The person tends to isolate himself. Feeling ashamed of oneself or getting closer to loved ones to communicate the problem would become the toughest job. Reaching out is not your weakness in fact that displays your strength. You are brave enough to deal with your depression by talking. These issues that are happening in recent decades, urge us to educate the next generation to handle life in a better way. We must provide the emotional support thereby teaching them that it is ok to be not ok at times. Train them to a vision beyond the obstacles and guide them that obstacles are just like punching bags which are meant to make us strong. Teach them that nothing is lost in life unless we start dealing with it. Ask them to compete with themselves and we have a long life to learn everything. Show them nothing comes too soon and if it does, be thankful. Describe to them that we get a beautiful life and that starts with us. Give them examples of having an amazing life. Let us not make them feel that they are judged instead empathise them by helping them to restart, as we also stand responsible for not allowing them a free space to share the thoughts and remind them that when they make a difficult choice by not willing to live, show them it’s not impossible to change the choice.
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