Dr Shirali Raina
Balter
I came across this word for the first time,a few weeks ago,and in my ignorance thought it to be a typo error for the word barter.
A little exploration ,and it made me smile and be secretly thankful to the one who coined this word.
Balter :to dance artlessly, usually without practiced form or skill, but always with great, contented enjoyment.
Finally,something to counter that bane of a word by which our lives are generally benchmarked, yes that ‘Perfection’ with a capital P.
On a lighter note,I wish I knew this one as a child;can imagine my parents’ reaction on reading out my report card and I nonchalantly saying, ‘ well,everybody can’t be perfect,somebody needs to balter as well.’
The immediate image that this word conjured up for me was one which is a familiar sight at any wedding,at any location in India.
Yes, the random gaggle of baraatis, young and old, man and woman, uncle and aunty, chacha and chachi, mama and mami, the skinny ones and the pot-bellied ones,all giving themselves up to the raucous music, arms waving in all directions and their feet taking them nowhere. All forms of dance mixed and mashed up into one big baltering heap; the groom’s friend writhing on the floor trying hard to be a nagin , the elderly uncle contorting into Travolta-twists, a bhangra step here, a rock and roll there ,all swinging away to the eternal baraat song,’Aaj mere yaarkishaadihai’!
No perfect steps but the sheer enjoyment and the infectious energy pulls you out of your dancing diffidence and there you are swaying and tapping your feet away with the rest.
On the other hand, in the same wedding,you can see the P word making its presence felt and overshadowing the essence of the entire ceremony. The parents,overwrought by the perfect arrangements for the guests,ironically miss out on enjoying their own daughter’s wedding and secretly wish it to be over so that they can breathe and relax.
The bride’s zealous hunt, in the run up to the big day, for the perfect dress and the perfect shoes and jewellery to go with it is no less nerve racking.Of course the bride has to have the perfect make up and the perfect smile too.Many brides find themselves so wound up with this forced perfection that they forget to relax and be their natural charming best.The photographer is no less a culprit….frame after frame of posed smiles and happiness,killing the spontaneity by asking the couple to do multiple takes of a cherished moment like ‘jaimala’ in order to get what he thinks is a perfect shot.
A common trend seen for sometime now is mothers-to-be electing for a cesarian section so that the baby is born at a perfect time or requesting the doctor to hurry up/ delay the labour for the same reason . This sword of perfection then dictates the rest of the baby’s life ,right from the crib. The baby grows up to be a toddler and with it comes the frantic search for the perfect pre-school, school,college and then the perfect job,partner,marriage….the list is never ending.
This insecurity of imperfection is fuel for the marketing and advertising industry and based on this premise it feeds us those perfect cars,houses,vacations,clothes,lotions,potions and similar mumbo-jumbo. There is something common between the student falling prey to rote and missing on the bigger picture of knowledge, the frowning teenager who suddenly smiles ,struts and pouts for a selfie and the tourist who holidays through his smart phone lens.
Understandably, perfection is non negotiable in technical and professional aspects ; one wouldn’t want to be operated upon by a surgeon who has not perfected her craft or drive a car without perfect mechanical alignments or drive over a bridge that does not have the perfect engineering behind it.
However, outside that, do we somewhere, in our quest for perfect lives, stop enjoying living on a as-is basis and give up rich and happy moments as a collateral damage?
I wish we could focus more on excellence than perfection. Striving for perfection can be exhausting while as aiming for excellence can be liberating.
There are arguments that excellence is a by product of perfection and there are arguments that excellence comes out of enjoying what you do. I would put my lot with the second school of thought which defines excellence as a process and not the end product.
The concept of perfection deals with living up to an external standard to earn approval where as excellence is something to be bettered within, honing your talent or potential to the maximum, a more inward focus.
Pearl S.Buck sums it up as ‘The secret of joy in work is contained in one word – excellence. To know how to do something well is to enjoy it.’
It is interesting to trace the history of aesthetics from the days of ancient Greeks , through the period of Renaissance, right up to the 19th century and note the very gradual shift in the understanding that no art can be perfect, bringing more reliance upon spontaneous insights, a move,as it is called,from the age of perfection to the age of expression.
If we could be encouraged to live with our little imperfections, will the world be a less joyous place to live in? Isn’t it that it is our little flaws and quirks that make us different,intriguing and want to explore the wonder of heterogenous personalities?
My favourite lines from Leonard Cohen’s ‘Anthem’, help me to come to terms with my flaws and break free from the mould set before, a cage of accepted expectations,
‘Ring the bells that still can ring / Forget your perfect offering / There is a crack, a crack in everything / That’s how the light gets in.’
What a great stress buster it is to muster up courage to let go the carefully nurtured outer perfect skin, let down the guard and step knowingly into my imperfections.
I would rather balter through my life than barter away the enjoyment of living it.
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