Manu Khajuria
Most popular definitions of a civil society list voluntary groups and organisations as its core element. Voluntary groups and organisations undoubtedly are central in their roles in bringing together citizens linked by common goal and directing them towards a collective activity. In my two part series on Civil Society I choose to first dwell upon the values that define it. A good civil society is one which works for social, economic and political progress for all. The values of a civil society are directly related to the values of the individuals who constitute this body. Many institutions contribute towards the creation of a positive value system, but the leader of the pack in this is the Woman in her myriad roles.
As a Mother she is her child’s first teacher. The mother gives the child his or her first words and his medium of communication. She is the one who shows him the mirror to who he is. She introduces and holds him accountable to his legacy. He first sees the world through her eyes. If she is all that and more, how is she not the most important vehicle of history and culture promotion. It is she who communicates with him in Dogri, Kashmiri, Gojri or Ladakhi. She shows him the music and magic in his language. She is his first storyteller and songstress. She will be the first one to retrace the steps of a Zorawar Singh crossing the Zojila Pass or tell stories of the statesmanship of a Maharaja Gulab Singh to her child. The child will first hear her sing paens of a Habba Khatoon and it will be her reading out his first poem by Padma Sachdev.
The modern mother works hard at striking a fine balance between work and home. On the day of Tulsi Vivaah I saw Mothers in Jammu after toiling at their workplace come home and paint the pot containing the Tulsi. By getting her child involved in the painting of the pot or making of a Chajja during Lohri, she ensures that a ritual particular to the region gets passed on to the generation next. The mother is the reason behind the constant ringing of the temple bells, for it is she who holds the child’s hand and leads him there. The preservation of traditional recipes and the use of vegetables and fruits particular to the region in her kitchen, not only promote local produce but also make her a food historian. So the next time she makes a mittha madra or ambal, nadar palak or monj haakh, skyu or paba and tangtur make note of her invaluable contribution. A mother is instrumental in passing on the baton of history, culture and language making her one of its most important guardians.
A Mother is also central in the creation of values that define a good civil society. She is truly the hand that rocks the cradle as epitomised by the great Shivaji and his mother Jija Bai. Despite the difficult circumstances Jija Bai made Shivaji into the legendary figure that he went onto become. Mata Gojri played a pivotal role in especially difficult times and raised a fearless saint-soldier Guru Gobind Singh and four brave grandchildren who all attained martyrdom. In a land of martyrs where history is replete with sons who embrace duty over rights, swear by the tenets of service and believe in not thinking twice before making the ultimate sacrifice, credit must be given to the Mothers who bear and raise such sons. If the head bows down at the supreme sacrifice of the young Captain Tushar Mahajan, it bows lower for his Mother Smt Asha Mahajan, for it is true that men are what their mothers make them and could there be a braver son.
As daughters and daughter in laws, they are responsible for making a house into a home and there can be no bigger contribution than a flourishing and stable family, the first and basic unit of a society. As neighbours and members of the community, women are the most important tool in the process of community building because it is they who connect and build strong relationships within the community. The onus of maintaining those relationships also primarily rests on them.
A tree whose roots are strong is the one which can withstand any storm. The stronger the roots, the higher the flight.
The influence of a mother in the lives of her children is beyond calculation said James E Faust, but the other big influence is a good teacher. The teaching profession is dominated by women. The potential of a teacher to mould and nurture is tremendous. While doing justice to the academic requirements, the teacher can go beyond and show the student a world which is not limited by the physical boundaries of the classroom or the academic ones of a prescribed curriculum. The possibilities are endless and the need is only for women to realise the power they wield and then to use it well to build responsible and informed future citizens of the civil society.
Women as writers have historically nourished and sustained cultural values and ethics. Their impact on the collective social psyche is undeniable. They have empowered and groomed others like in the case of the legendary Lal Ded of Kashmir and Nooruddin /Nunda Rishi. Nund Rishi is known to have been deeply influenced by the works of Lal Ded. When women actively participate in the civil society as leaders, activists, teachers, writers they give voice to many and empower each other. Women are natural leaders who don’t walk alone but take many with them.
I happened to attend a women empowerment seminar in Jammu in February. The two main speakers in this seminar were men. One of them spoke way beyond his allotted time because of which the other speakers who were women, did not get a chance to address the gathering at all. The other male speaker while speaking of a government scheme, effectively said that a girl child will have an elevated status in the family now, because under the scheme she will be getting money. This seminar titled ‘Women Power- the Need of the hour’ missed the mark by a great distance.
When women are merely ornamental and not a serious part of a public discourse, the society cannot grow. The respectable institutions of the civil society lose credibility when they fail to include and partner with women. If we do not enable women to find their voice, many will get left behind and unspoken for. A woman is above the obvious roles she plays. She cannot be looked at with a utilitarian perspective. She is not useful merely because she bears children, cooks and cleans or brings in money either due to employment or some government scheme. She is the architect of the society. A Kingmaker and the frontline change maker . There is no tool for development more effective than the empowerment of women. She is the foundation stone of the civil society and a civil society which forgets her and leaves her behind is digging a hole for itself. Educating and empowering her, means educating and empowering the entire society, state and nation.
Jammu Kashmir a land which revers the feminine divine does not need much reminding about the latent feminine power. Life is sustained by Suryaputri Tawi as she cuts across the Region, as do Mata Ragniya in Kashmir and Vaishno Devi from their respective abodes. Mahamaya Temple up on the hills dedicated to the local Dogra woman, who gave up her life fighting foreign invaders in the 14th century is a testimonial to the courage and fearlessness of women. Baawe Wali Mata protects and watches over Jammu city. The region is dotted with Daatis symbolising the power, courage, selflessness and sacrifice of the feminine. Women are already powerful, all they need to do is recognise and celebrate all their roles and create space for themselves. She must find her voice because it is her voice that will tell all the human stories of past and present. When women thrive the future generations thrive. Women must be allowed to make meaningful contributions to the society if the progress has to pick up pace. Society must acknowledge her role.
“Yatra Naryestu pujyante, Ramante tatra Devta”…where women are worshipped, divinity resides.
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