Child custody dispute
Excelsior Correspondent
JAMMU, Aug 3: In a deeply emotive and reflective judgment, the Principal District Judge Anantnag Tahir Khurshid Raina has delivered a unified message to estranged parents embroiled in a bitter child custody battle——”Give love a chance over litigation”.
“Don’t try winning the child by litigation; win him by your patience and unconditional love”, the Judge told the father, while urging the mother to “be a bridge of love between the estranged father and child, rather than a wall of hatred”.
The court was adjudicating three connected petitions arising out of a broken marriage, where a 10-year-old child had become the centre of prolonged and emotionally charged legal disputes. Despite a compromise agreement between the parents in October 2024 for shared visitation and educational decisions, the arrangement failed due to mutual distrust and lack of communication, particularly the father’s belated involvement in the child’s life.
During in-camera and open court interactions, the child—described by the judge as “confident, articulate, and academically bright”—expressed unequivocal resistance to meeting or recognizing his father. The boy responded with a firm “No” to all questions about interaction or transfer to a new school proposed by his father. In one poignant moment, the child told the judge: “My mother is also my father”.
This response, according to the court, illustrated the child’s emotional disconnect with his father, developed over years of absence, compounded by the father’s attempts to reassert authority through legal means rather than emotional reintegration.
In a strong message to the father, the judge stated: “Don’t try winning the child by litigation; win him by your patience and unconditional love for him. Give love a chance over litigation… Let your child grows in the lap and love of the mother with a sincere blend of unilateral, unconditional, un-annoying and un-disturbing love and care from you as the father. Remember, father is so much more than just a relation. It means sacrifices, tough decisions, trust and a life time of love given to his kids”.
The judgment noted the father’s aggressive legal approach and rigid insistence on enforcing an agreement despite the child’s clear opposition. “The more he pursues litigation, the more the child drifts away from the father,” the Judge observed, adding that any attempt to forcibly execute the visitation or school transfer would “simply amount to torturing the child”.
While dismissing the father’s petitions, the court also addressed the mother, commending her for acknowledging the father’s role and advising her to actively facilitate reconciliation. “She has shown a positive response regarding the child’s meeting with his father and of course much depends on her in this regard if she really believes in it to happen”, the court said.
“Her words must match with the action as is required in this very piquant situation. For her to sustain the challenge of single parenting will be a daunting task. Let the father also share his own responsibility and this may bring a sense of relief in her already turbulent life. Let you choose to be a bridge of love between the estranged father-child, rather than a wall of hatred”, the court told the mother.
The Principal District Judge further said, “this court wishes the broken family to unite soon, and the child to become a bridge between his divided parents to lead them finally to live a loving and a blissful life together, and the family to have a happy life in a happy home. Let the child grows and bloom to his fullest, and finally, to achieve his aim-to be a Judge”.
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