Owais Amin Lone
owaisaminlone@gmail.com
A significant social trend has taken shape over the past decade. An increasing number of families are sending their children between the age of sixteen and twenty-four years to study outside the state. These years are important not just for studies but also for shaping a young person’s thoughts and beliefs. At this age, children are easily influenced and can be diverted by the environment around them. These young students usually return home only during long vacations, often just twice a year. For the rest of the year, they live in unfamiliar environments, exposed to new influences and experiences, and far from the direct supervision and daily warmth of their families. This distance creates a communication gap that many parents fail to address.
For children living away from home, mobile phones become the only channel of interaction. Unlike daily conversations that naturally occur when a child is at home, these exchanges tend to be brief and mechanical. In many families, communication is reduced to routine phrases such as “theek chewa” (Are you fine?), “kya chev karan” (What are you doing?) and “batte khewa” (Have you eaten?). Most calls barely last a minute or two. Although a mother may call her child daily, her conversations often remain limited to enquiries about the child’s wellbeing, which is understandable given her emotional nature. However, communication from the father is even more limited. Many fathers still view their role primarily in financial terms, assuming that providing money fulfils their responsibility. This belief no longer suits the realities faced by their children. Children living away from home need emotional support and meaningful engagement from both parents, and these conversations must move beyond brief wellbeing checks to genuine dialogue and guidance.
The lack of meaningful communication has wider implications. Today’s young people encounter diverse ideas, lifestyles and pressures, particularly when they live outside their home state. Several incidents in recent years have shown that some students became influenced by radical or unhealthy ideologies without their families being aware of it. One of the major reasons for this disconnect is the absence of regular, meaningful interaction. When families confine conversations to routine enquiries, they lose insight into the emotional and mental landscape of their children.
The responsibility on parents today is far greater than it was a generation ago. It is no longer sufficient to speak only occasionally or when some need arises. Parents should make it a consistent practice to communicate with their children twice or thrice a week, if not daily. These conversations must go beyond checking whether they have eaten or whether they are fine. They should include open discussions about academic progress, friendships, social pressures and the broader social, political and religious issues that influence young minds. Such discussions not only help parents understand what their children are experiencing, but also allow them to see how their children think, what shapes their opinions and what concerns they may be carrying silently.
Regular and meaningful communication creates a stronger emotional support system for students living away from home. It reassures them that their families remain present in their lives despite physical distance. More importantly, it allows parents to recognise early signs of stress, confusion or negative influence.
In an era where young people live more independently and face complex social influences, responsible parenting requires active engagement, not just financial support. Families must move beyond routine one-minute calls and invest time in deeper, more thoughtful communication. Doing so strengthens the bond between parents and children and ensures their wellbeing in its entirety.
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