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Shaista Baba
She may be a mother, a daughter, a sister, a wife — but is she made to carry only these roles? No. These are just the roles society wants her to remain confined within. We’ve become so used to seeing her only as someone’s daughter, someone’s mother, or someone’s wife, that we’ve created this illusion that she exists only for these purposes. And then we pose as she cannot carry any role beyond them. A woman carries responsibilities wherever she stands, as a mother, a sister, a professional, or a leader. Inside the home, she supervises everything with compassion, concerned for everyone and fulfilling every expectation placed on her. Yet the moment she steps beyond these expected roles to build a career or create a Profile of her own, society suddenly begins to inquire her intentions, her character and even her industriousness. Her responsibilities outside the home are treated with suspicion, while those within the home are admired.
When she is a mother or a sister, she is seen as “Ideal.” But when she becomes a speaker, takes an Eminent position, rise in her domain, or excels in any sphere, people struggle to come to terms her success. They imagine she cannot be perfect there, because in the opinions of many, a woman is not meant to lead, dominate, or own her laurels. Yet she continues to shoulder both worlds — and she does it with strength, dignity, and unshakeable perseverance.
So why do we always have to speak, write, explain, defend, prove her — again and again? Why can’t we set right the mindset just once, so that people stop discriminating between man and woman? Why must she keep justifying her character, intellect & professional maturity; just to have the equal status that should have been hers from the beginning? Why should she carry evidence of qualities that are already part of her nature?
And I undergo this every day. If I go home late from work even once, people in my neighbourhood start staring at me in an inappropriate way — like I must have been somewhere else. Bro, I’m not coming from spending moments with someone. I’m coming straight from work. Yet a woman has to explain her character, her intentions, even her timing. We say we educate girls and give them opportunities, but even today society struggles to trust them. They don’t see a woman coming back from duty — they only visualize a story that never happened.
I still remember going for an interview — I was the only girl in the room. Some guys casually said, “Tum toh select ho jaogi, tum ladki ho na,” as if my talent didn’t exist. They were insecure not because I’m a woman, but because they couldn’t accept that a woman could outperform them on merit. Some men still cannot digest a woman’s success. When they realise they can’t compete with her, they start plotting against her. They attack her character because they know her dignity is her strength. They believe that by breaking her image, they can break her confidence. Little do they know that their insecurity only exposes why she keeps rising above them.
A woman’s hard work is never enough for this mindset. When a man succeeds, it’s “hard work. “When a woman succeeds, people say she used her “woman card,” or someone must be helping her, or some man must be behind her progress with whom she must have made connections. The moment she competes with man and stands resilient on her own, society suddenly questions her integrity. This mentality shows exactly why woman continue to fight for respect and admiration; not because they lack ability, but because society lacks a fair lens to see them.
I came across this truth in an insta reel; Aurat ke kaamyabi ke peeche haath nahi hote… hadse hote hain.
Her success isn’t handed to her — she fights for every step, every space, every right to exist with dignity.
Success always looks easy from afar- as if those who achieved it had a smooth ride. But the moment we step into that process we realise the struggle behind it. Maybe that exactly why we still speak — because someone has to
oppose the silence, someone has to hold up the mirror until society is forced to see its own bias. And until that day comes, woman will keep climbing the success ladder – amid difficult paths not to prove their worth, but to remind the world that they never needed permission to succeed.
(The author is working as a project associate at NewGen, IEDC, Kashmir University)
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