Shiv Chander Sharma (Birpur)
mahajanrohini10@gmail.com
In 1835, Lord Macaulay a British historian purported in British parliament that to break and rule mighty India it is sine qua non to target and weaken the very core value traditions of Indian society. And the bedrock of these mores, values and cultural societal norms was strongly embedded Indian Joint Family system. India that is Bharat was a cohesive strong well-knit society and collective wellbeing used to surpass individual’s parochial interests. Notwithstanding, the way termite hollows the wood, emulating it British Raj meticulously tried to put a shroud on Indian family system by changing education structure and glorifying modern values of individualism, freedom and personal fulfillment. But it will be a folly to assume that British succeeded completely as society perennially is jostling between Joint, nuclear and other sub types of families.
Attributes of Indian Joint family
Joint family system has had been perhaps one of the most profound and remarkable features of the Indian society. Etymologically joint family means children living with their parents, grandparents , cousins, uncles and aunts together under one roof sharing common responsibilities along with property, daily life routine and common kitchen. It not only showcased the economic necessity but was based on mutual support, unity and respect for elders. Going by the system approach each sub unit (couples and their children)within bigger system of joint family was accruing financial, emotional, spiritual support from one other thus flourishing the system. Predicaments related to childcare, loneliness and delayed speech of children were never there for those times. The need of day care homes, crutches never came to fore. Although it had a strong patriarchal dominated power relations within the family but it resulted into a highly systematic and streamlined social cultural relation terms within the family and between family and society. For elders of the family the option of old age homes never mattered or existed as young members grew with values of cooperation, care, sacrifice and respect which provided a respectable and healthy old age life for elders of the house.
Fading of Joint Family
With the advent of colonial powers on Indian soil, there were slow but watershed changes in all the spheres of human life ranging from social, political, cultural or spiritual. For their parochial petty interests, colonizers targeted the very strong social fabric of Indian society. The waves and winds of technological and intellectual modernization travelled from Europe to India. Industries sprouted and led to migration towards industrial centers for better employment opportunities, newly constructed railway networks paved the way for the former. This led to the creation of and divide between cities and villages or rural -urban classification. Thereby over the decades, rapid urbanization and instilling of modern values like individualism, freedom of choice and profit/surplus making led to the growing desire for independence, encouraging the emergence of nuclear families- consisting of only parents and their children.
According to Census of India in 2011 the share of joint /extended households has reached to the low ebb of 16.1% of all households. Whereas the share of increasing nuclear households reached to 52.1% nationwide.
Problems associated with nuclear families
These nuclear families were replete with romantic love and persuasive parenting thus sharing a small world within the small family. It offered privacy, autonomy and better space management in urban areas but brought many negative connotations like loneliness for the elderly and lack of family support for working parents. The emotional bond and connect which once held joint families together is gradually withering away, though not lost completely. The new born kids in the nuclear families face the hardships attached with nannies and maids who are heftily paid by working parents for their children look after at homes during their whole day absence. Such upbringing by maids or nannies is mostly professional and lacks emotional touch. Wifi connected high tech cameras at home provide as an alternative for parents to check the treatment meted out to their soul babies by nannies. This has led to delayed speech development in kids as they have no body to talk to whole day, further leading to mental and emotional health problems. In the worst scenarios single grandparent is called from their home places to keep a tab on their grandchildren’s childhood care. Aforementioned arrangement of childcare leads to the separation of grandparents which further accentuates stress making a vicious cycle of neglect, boredom and loneliness.
Changing Fate of Joint families in Jammu
In 1990s, the author of this article used to take his young son for flying kites to his maternal aunt’s house in Julahaka Mohalla, Jain Bazar (Pakka Danga ) Jammu which was heart of city center in Jammu city. The sheer fervour and combined celebrations on the roof by joint families added flavour to the occasion. Bollywood songs, dancing family members flying kites would instill back life even in the dead. But author’s son after visiting the same place in 2024 painted a dismal and gloomy picture of the changing scenarios. He said papa ” many roofs were empty as people have migrated to new colonies south east and west of river Tawi, many have rented their houses and many consider watching mobile phones as a superior activity than flying kites”. The question arises where all of a sudden joint families are slipping to. Once where the congested lanes of old city used to accommodate so many people, why they are getting deserted. Even in rural areas of Jammu, people are adopting nuclear separate houses having separate kitchen and parking facility with high boundary walls to fortify their privacy from their realtives( Shareeks in Dogri). A new construction model has become popular where three floors of the house accommodate sons and their families separately with grandparents oscillating in between.
Way Forward
India after traversing through changing times and ruffling the streaks of modernity- tradition mix is witnessing in the present day different types of familial systems based on structure, size, residence, marriage, lineage etc. Extended family, single parent family, childless family, patrilocal family , matrilocal family, neolocal family, monogamous/ polygamous family are the subject matters which will cost a great fortune of time to the author if he wishes to delve in each category with details. Nevertheless, each one of aforementioned type of family is coexisting with other types albeit with changing characteristics.
What matters the most in today’s world is mental peace which should not be ephemeral and must be based on sound robust foundation of familial system and support. Joint families over the years have proven their might from first socialization of children to teaching them the ways of life in a subtle and pragmatic manner. Love, sharing, concern ,connect, sacrifice, support and cohesion are the core values which go on to help the individual through out his life. Geroge Bernard Shaw rightly puts it ” A happy family is but an earlier heaven”.
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