Vishal Sharma
Pissing in public is commonplace in India. Everyone does it. Some may admit to it; others may not. But it is common knowledge that those who say they don’t are lying. Most pissers just require a little bit of cover; it could be a thick trunk of a tree, a shady corner of a park, less frequented part of a building or even a lamp post. Any one of these shield will do for these pissers. Some are more daring though. They are not fettered by twinge induced by the relative morals as they undo their fly and let it rip in full view of plying vehicles, and even as they see men and women and children of all ages walk by.
Have we ever thought why they do this? Perhaps we have. But then we have had this thought and then blissfully parked it in the dark corners of our minds. It is such a national recreation of a sort that it is enmeshed in our way of life. There is in fact a sense of imperviousness to it amongst all without exception. Even those who may be more mannerly amongst us do not react any more. It kind of explains who we are; or rather who we have become. Who we are, perhaps, makes more sense compared to who we have become. For the latter signals that perhaps we were not so unmannerly in the past or ancient past; and that it is a recent phenomenon. But then it is a matter of debate if we were ever so couth at any point in our history.
Pissing in public was explainable in the past by fewer public conveniences in our cities and towns. Today that explanation will not work. We have a large number of urinals, public conveniences, washrooms and rest areas even in areas where they did not exist in the past. So when the pissing urge registers itself, what should pissers do? What is expected of them? They should make a dash for the nearest urinal in sight.And if by chance there is none close by, they hold it tight till such time one heaves in sight. But do they actually do that? I once saw someone pissing blithely next to a public convenience when I was taking a stroll with a friend. My friend asked him why it was that he was pissing outside and not inside the urinal. He said, “Doing outside is just so very convenient. Inside it is a hell with the entire place stinking.”
Some pissers compulsively do it in the open much as compulsive liars will lie regardless. They have not been bred in the manner of the morally obedient to conform to the demands of collective expectations. They relish transgression and take pride in being on the wrong side of morality. Even when they are exposed to the sparkling floors of public conveniences, they would much rather let it loose in the open. A friend of mine told me how his father embarrassed him once. The poor chap’s family was visiting the girl’s family to do matchmaking for him. As they reached the girl’s house, the boy’s father suddenly felt an irrepressible impulse to piss. When he expressed his desire to do so just outside the girl’s house, his son asked him to hold his pee till they entered the girl’s house at which point he could use their washroom. However, the old man had other ideas. Before his son could persuade him or gently nudge him inside the house, the old man had already unzipped and begun taking a whiz in full view of the girl’s family.
Some of our public conveniences may be in bad shape. But it is perhaps more to do with the number of visitors that that these places receive. Let’s face it; those willing to spend a penny are far too many. Every second of the day when their floors are invaded by the pissers, public conveniences cry for more mopping, more cleaning, more ventilation, and more chemical treatment. Of all the public conveniences, those closer to bus terminals and market places are the grottiest. For all its flaws, it does not give any justification to pissers to give them a miss and do it in the open. Likewise the fact that they are catering to levels higher than carrying capacity should not give a reason to those who are inclined to stint on their upkeep to do so. There is no right way to do the wrong thing !
Interestingly, those who enjoy pissing in the open have all the weirdest explanations to offer. One of the weirdest ones I heard was from a friend, who had to hold in urine for more than three hours during a bus journey. The dude was travelling from Batote to Jammu. The damn bus did not halt anywhere after Kud and when he finally reached the inter-state/district bus station on BC Road in Jammu; his crotchet was already burning with fever. He disgorged from the bus and ran across the road to free himself up from the infernal heat in his groin. As the fury streamed out of his body against a wall in the open, he closed his eyes in what he described as being gripped by waves after waves of ecstasy till he was consumed by them. ” The experience was akin to boning someone and then crying aloud in pure ecstasy -I have come, I have come,” he told me. What an expression! What language! What thought!
One is spared the shocking spectacle of public pissing in the western countries. Once when I was in the US, a white friend of mine asked me, ” Why do you guys piss in public in India?,” I thought for a moment and then said, ” Well, if you are answering the nature’s call, let nature see that you are answering its call.” He gave me a quizzical look and then summoned the courage to ask further, ” What’s your point?” “Nothing. I was just having fun,” replied I. A few moments later though I realized that something that shocked my white friend did not similarly affect me; and that I, or rather we, have normalized it to a level where it is now a part of everyday aspect of our lives. Quite frankly, it is emblematic of the extent to which our sensitivities have deadened to something as abhorrent as pissing in public. In the ordinary circumstances or rather in a civilized setting, this should have stunned us into action. Instead it has stunned us into morally repugnant inaction. Only if we had been shocked by it, or we had been sensitive towards it, than perhaps could we have done something to thwart it. As collective revulsion at public pissing never happened, collective acceptance tragically followed.
There is another funny tagline associated with India: that in India it is ok to piss in public but not ok to kiss in public. Now two consenting adults kissing in public should not be such an issue, but it is. It is seen as hurting our sensitivities and is even held as an attack on our millennia old civilization. It is not seen for what it is. It is a public expression of two people in love- an act pleasing on eye and not at all hurtful to others. In contrast, pissing in public intrudes into our collective space; it is monstrously disagreeable act. But we have no place in our society for the former even as we continue to put up with the latter. Should it not make us to take a pause and see where we are headed? It should and, if we did just that, we will find that all we require is a little bit of civility and imagination and nothing more. Let HD Thoreau’s words guide us : Not until we are lost, do we begin to understand ourselves.
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