Teej From Tapasya to Turmoil What Happened to Marital Devotion?

Saawan, with its many celebrations—from Kanwar and Shivratri to Teej, culminating in Raksha Bandhan—is steeped in devotion to Lord Shiva. Teej, in particular, is traditionally observed by married women, who adorn themselves in green, symbolising prosperity, fertility and the long life of their husbands.

The legend of Teej is intertwined with Maa Gauri’s arduous penance and years of austerities to attain Lord Shiva as her husband. Indeed, Hindu mythology and legend are replete with stories of women who undertook prayers, penance, fasting and extraordinary sacrifices in pursuit of, and devotion to, their chosen husbands—Parvati for Shiva, Rukmini for Krishna, Shachi for Indra , Vrinda for Jalandhar and Damayanti for Nala. Savitri’s legendary confrontation with Yama to reclaim Satyavan’s life perhaps remains the most powerful testament to a woman’s unwavering marital devotion.

Across these stories, women are repeatedly portrayed as fasting, enduring hardship and displaying extraordinary steadfastness for the well-being, longevity and preservation of their husbands. Teej, therefore, is not merely a festival of adornment and celebration; it carries within it an ancient cultural memory of tapasya, sacrifice, faith and unwavering marital devotion.

Interestingly, our mythology also contains instances of husbands meting out severe punishment to their wives—even for what was perceived as an offence of the mind. Rishi Jamadagni, for instance, ordered his son Parashurama to kill Renuka after suspecting her of momentary mental admiration for a Gandharva. Rishi Gautama’s curse upon Ahilya, who was turned to stone for an offence she had not knowingly committed, is another troubling example. Yet, strikingly, our vast body of mythology offers remarkably few narratives of wives punishing or killing their husbands for marital transgressions.

Contrast this with the present times, when hot tempers, impulsiveness, impatience, immaturity, misplaced bravado and disturbed relationships increasingly spill into violence. Newspapers regularly carry bizarre and chilling accounts—partners attacking one another, husbands being thrown from cliffs, wives allegedly engaging lovers to eliminate husbands, and even gruesome attempts to dispose of a spouse’s body after drugging and assaulting him. In one recent case, a woman reportedly went as far as digging a grave for her husband in the balcony, allegedly as part of a plan to dispose of his body. In another, a woman was accused of killing her husband with the help of her lover under the guise of a robbery.

Such incidents are no longer isolated curiosities. Almost every day, we encounter stories of intimate relationships ending not merely in separation or bitterness, but in horrifying violence.

It makes one wonder: why do the values embedded in our rich mythology and cultural memory seem to be losing their influence on society? Have patience, loyalty, restraint and the sanctity of relationships been overwhelmed by impulsiveness, distorted notions of empowerment, toxic masculinity, extreme individualism and the pressures of modern life? Are anxiety, emotional instability, unresolved resentment and an inability to cope with conflict making people increasingly vulnerable to acts they might once have considered unthinkable? Or does social media, by repeatedly amplifying sensational acts, inadvertently normalise violence and give troubled minds a dangerous sense of validation or imitation?

Perhaps the answer lies not in blaming one gender or another, but in recognising how profoundly the meaning of relationships is changing. Love without patience, equality without empathy, freedom without responsibility and rights without restraint can all become destructive.

Teej reminds us of a very different vocabulary of marriage—faith, companionship, sacrifice, patience and togetherness. We may not need to replicate every austerity of the past, but perhaps we do need to rediscover the values that made relationships worth preserving.

This Teej, may the spirit of Maa Gauri remind us that love is not merely possession, nor marriage merely a social contract. It is companionship through storms, respect in disagreement, loyalty in adversity and the wisdom to preserve life rather than destroy it.

Wishing all couples a Teej filled with love, loyalty, laughter and togetherness—and, above all, with better sense, greater patience and the grace to choose compassion over conflict.