Satbir Singh Kapoor
Disrespect is the denial of approval or recognition of another person. Many people do not value the elders and treat them as worthless. Elders can be our relatives or non relatives. Showing respect to the elders means to be kind and considerate towards them and hearing them out, even if you don’t agree with them. Besides the opinion of the aged should be respected, as it used to be while they were active and earning for the entire family. Old age is the period when the same individual who handled everything with dexterity became dependent on others for all the needs. Though a huge paradox yet a reality which we all have to face and sometimes live with. The basic necessity is that the aged should feel wanted, supported, assisted, feel secure and happy.
Our respect for the old people is dwindling. It is our responsibility to care for them as they had given us birth. The total truth is that one day all have to grow old including those who do not care for the old people. Then what? They will also not be cared by any one. It is because what you give comes back to you. Shakespeare said, “Youth is full of pleasance, age is full of care”. In our culture we worship parents as Gods. Parents are a symbol of love, care and sacrifice. It hard to digest the fact that two third of elderly people are being ignored, isolated by their children experiencing loneliness craving for love and affection .We forget the time when they tended to our small needs and toiled day and night to give us food, clothing, shelter, education etc. Since birth to youth when we faced problems in coping with the world the main and the only support of giving us strength and encouraging us to move ahead in our lives. Parents are living Gods. We forget our basic duty for which God has given us birth, the one being loving your parents and looking after them. They are not asking much of your time, they do not also want anything from you. They only want a little dose of love for which they will do anything for you. We should understand our parents respect them and make each day beautiful for them because I am sure once they are gone, we will miss the moment of joy with them.
All religions of the world have laid great emphasis on the rights of parents and duties of the children towards them. Hinduism favours unconditional love and care to parents. Lord Rama left his palace and kingship in order to fulfil the vows of his father. His unconditional surrender to Kaykey’s wishes may not be emulated but the spirit of that sacrifice is worth remembering. Once Lord Ganesh and his brother Kartik had a contest to circumvent the earth faster. Lord Ganesh ambled around his father and mother and won the contest as according to Him ,his parents are world and world is His parents. The story of Shravan Kumar centred around serving his blind parents whole life .He took care of each and every wish of his parents including pilgrimage to holy places on baskets .Markandaya Maharishi was born with short life span but made CHIRANJEEVA (life forever) because of blessings of holy saints and pious elders as he used to bow to all elders and get their blessings as per the instructions of his father to bow to all elders. According to Islam paradise lies under the feet of mother. He who wishes to enter paradise through its best door must please his parents. If a person looks with love at his parents, God writes in his favor , the reward equal to the performance of one Hajj. A man or woman is bound to be good to his parents, even though they may have injured him. If a person disrespect, offends his elders or parents by ignoring their needs and feelings or causes them grief in any manner his place shall be in hell. In Gurbani there is hymn of Bhagat Kabeer in which He says JEEVATH PITHAR N MAANAI KOOO MOOEAE(N) SIRAADHH KARAAHEE(He does not honor his ancestors while they are alive but he holds feasts in their honor after they have died ). In Sikhism the service and respect for elders has been given high recognition and status.if a person does not serve his parents then his sewa at Gurudwara is not accepted .According to Bhai Gurdas ji that one who does not look after his mother and father but outside he gives charity he is not a DAANI(charitable person) but a BEYEEMAAN(a fraud and crook). One day tenth Sikh Guru Sri Guru Gobind Singh ji was sitting with the sangat and having discussions.He stopped and asked “I feel thirsty,kindly get me some water”. One person stood up and offered Guruji’s glass of water. All knowing Guru sahib asked him , “have you ever given water to drink to your parents?”. He replied, “Maharaj ,we have a lot of servents in our house ,serving my parents is on the side , I don’t even have to get water for myself , the servants do that for me.” Guru sahib replied back, “if you have never ever given your parents water to drink then I will remain thirsty, but I will not drink the water from your hands as your first and foremost duty is to serve your parents inspite of maids and servants”. The boy begged forgiveness, “Satguru I have made a mistake unknowingly, I promise you that from now onwards I would consider my parents above God and seek their blessings. Satguru gave the blessings and said, ” O dear! Guru Nanak Sahib would fill your home with happiness, if you give respect to your elders by serving them”.
Smoking is bad for health , but being lonely with no one to share your problems may be worse than cigarettes according to a senior Downing street advisor David Halpern ,the director of number 10’s Behavioral insight team ,says being lonely in old age will drive you to the grave more quickly than smoking. When they are ageing and retired ,parents need love and compassion.When parents are alive we neglect them ,even do not bother to know about their health and medicine,but after they die we spent a lot of money to show our love and devotion to them and religion. It is a crime agaist humanity and society .The best investment is one in which duties are performed.
Concludingly, we should be respectful towards elder’s age, experience and relationship. We should listen patiently to them and redeem their self esteem. Occasional gift of use to them is a nice gesture. Regularly enquire about their health and welfare. Remember blessings of old are God’s blessings, we should not let the chance go. And even after your all efforts they are not satisfied and continue to curse you ,have pity on them, prey for them God would be always there to help you out for some golden future as you have done your duty as a philosopher has said , “the best investment is one in which duties are performed.”
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