Partners on life’s seesaw

Suman K. Sharma

The past year brought us horrific accounts of unspeakable excesses on women perpetrated by some men. But alongside, the media also spoke, rather sotto voce, of what happens to some of the men accused of violating women’s modesty. In Mandar, 30 kilometers from Ranchi, the mother of the accused man committed suicide. In Ambala, a 55-year old assistant sub inspector of police charged with rape shot himself dead in a police station. In New Delhi itself, the head of a NGO jumped to his death after a girl accused him of sexually assaulting him.
What is happening? Women, it seems, are on the way to discard the age-old code of suffering in silence. No more the abalaa – powerless – persona for them, chances are that they will pay back in kind to their tormentors. If a few misguided men think that raping a woman is some kind of a pleasure trip, they are in for a shock. For, truth to tell, any wrong move towards a woman can break such a man’s back. And frequently, it leaves him grossly impaired.
That said, a woman is made out to enjoy sex as much as man, and what may startle many a prude among us, the daughters of Eve are becoming more and more open about it. India Today conducted a Sex Survey between October 7 and October 25, interviewing a total of 2,015 women and 1,999 men in 19 cities, including the metropolises of Delhi, Mumbai, Kolkata, Bangalore, Chennai and Hyderabad. The results that have appeared in the 10-16 December issue of the weekly are revealing.
Ten years ago, 8 per cent women respondents said they had sex every day, 3 per cent confided they were open to having sexual relations with colleagues they were attracted to and 13 per cent of the women admitted to reading and watching pornography. The corresponding proportion now is 18 per cent (more than twice the number), 16 per cent (more than five times as many), and 35 per cent (nearly thrice the number). Ten years ago, only 3 per cent of women confessed to offering sexual favours to make it to the top. In ten years, 17 per cent women feel that the way to a plum post is getting involved with the boss. In 2003, 64 per cent women thought that having pre-marital sex is wrong; in 2013, the percentage of such women has come down to 50.
Ergo, sexual harassment of women is not at all about men seeking carnal pleasure. Trouble is when a woman is treated like a plaything, dehumanized and robbed of her dignity as a person. Man commits a grave error when he tramples on her humanness in the arrogance of his gender. Could there be a more grievous trespass than breaking into a fellow human’s sense of being? As in most of the crimes, it is the idiocy of the felon ever to think that his victim won’t be able to react. Retribution, as it should be, does follow sooner or later. The culprit stands naked of humanity and all that it means; and taken to task.
While taking a stroll in my neighbourhood park, I saw two children enjoying up-and-down motions of a seesaw. Then, before my eyes, one of them abruptly slid away from the plank, bringing his companion down with a loud thud. I can’t say whether it was a prank or pure mischief on the part of the wanton child, but what I am sure is that he had invited upon himself the vengeance of his friend.
Man and woman are equal partners on the life’s seesaw and parity is the rule of the game.

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