Sasha Banotra
“it is a truth universally acknowleged,that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.
….this truth is so well fixed in the mind of the surrounding families, that he is considered to be the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters”
Jane Austen
My idea of “marriage is not the solution” will be surrounded by some facts and some unquestioned sections of society,that might ring a bell in the mind of the readers and will start looking at the situation from a different perspective maybe, which is my sole concern through this writing.
Its 2017, and talking about the indian modern country, fastly emerging as a global power , when the prime minister is taking some massive decisions and bringing some effective changes in Indian economy. Ever wondered that half of its population,the women being the most essential and valuable part of society across the country,still struggle to live life with dignity? Looks like another feminist article? Dont worry! Here I am going to talk about the Institution which is always put in a higher realm than the academic and professional successes that people work hard to attain; the “institution of marriage”.Now talking about an Institution as a long established custom. as the vedic religion evolved into classical orthodox Hinduism (ca.500BC), the social ideas advanced by Manu gained prominence, and large section of Indian society moved towards patriarchy and caste-based rules.Manu and others attacked the Gandharva marriages ( based on mutual attraction )and the other similar systems,decrying them as holdouts “from the time of promiscuity” which at best were only suitable for small sections of society.Under the system they advocated, women were stripped of their traditional independence and placed permanently in male custodianship: first, in custody of their fathers in childhood,then their husbands through married life,and finally in custody of their sons in old age. “The conceptions of knowlege and truth are accepted and articulated have been shaped throughout history by the male dominated majority culture. They together have constructed prevailing theories,written history and set values that have become the guiding principles for men and women alike”. Talking about 2017, the situation has definately taken an evolved shape,where marriage cannot be everything.Apparently it is made to be the prime goal of a person’s life, particularly a woman’s. This goal begins from the individual’s home itself, where the obsesssion with marriage is so huge that if not parents, then the people will start pushing one to make it the part of his/her life. Though he may have “larger life goals” than this.
Education holds the most prestigious place in our lives to grow and think rationally. Treating education and marriage on the same scale will be difficult and almost unfair. It has been seen that many parents push their daughters to marry when they are interested in making their careers. In the beginning she serves her family for few years and is then pressurised to get married and in order to do that she has to sacrifice her job. In the case of males, they are expected to have a job or a stable source of income (the pressure is much more than it appears to be)and as soon as they settle down they are expected to get married and look after their family,and its always difficult to accept a woman working after marriage. No matter how much we have evolved with time, the expectations are still the same at many places. Its like covering the face of the truth with a beautiful veil.
Peeking through the options that society eventually has provided us with “marriage” is the mandatory act and certainly a final stop where the journey should end,and my dear readers their is a full fledged course that one has to qualify just before the so called”big day”,. Some of the subjects include : ‘perfect’ Indian cooking ( and by that I mean she should be capable of cooking for family get-togethers),and the list of the subjects just goes on. It is more like a duty for every girl before getting married, no matter how educated or how much is she earning. These qualities are expected out of her naturally. I might be sounding like talking about a time which is now past and things are not the same, trust me it still happens.
What a try to emphasis here is to say that marriage should not be a forced act. Life is difficult, living is even more but marriage cannot breakdown the worries it will rather only raise the pressure leading to various psychological disturbances and physical opression if done against ones will.Spending your entire life with the person should be an independent decision. This can reduce the level of health issues that people,particularly women have to go through their lives.
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