Managing anger

Dr Nikhil Gupta
What is anger?
Anger is a natural emotion. It is a way of expressing that something has gone wrong in our lives. Getting angry is not a problem.
Problem is that many of us don’t know how to manage anger effectively. It can have an impact both on physical and psychological well-being. On a long run, if anger is not managed, it can lead to physical problems such as high blood pressure, digestive problems, etc. It can also lead to psychological problems such as a chronic headache, sleep disorders, depression, relationship problems, etc.
How do we get angry?
Anger is usually triggered by an external event like someone said something to you and you disapprove it. This can also be associated with hunger, physical illness, lifestyle induced stress. This can trigger anger-producing thoughts like ‘people must always listen to me’, ‘if I don’t get angry, others will never listen to me.’ These thoughts make you feel hurt or betrayed and your logical thinking is impaired by these emotions. As a result, you may either suppress or express your anger.
You may feel that suppressing your anger is a good way of bringing it under your control. However, suppressing anger doesn’t solve the problem and is an inappropriate way of anger management. It can affect your physical, mental and social well-being.
Anger needs to be expressed but, if it is done in an aggressive manner, it might result in violent behavior which again affects your physical, mental and social well-being.
How can you manage your anger?
Maintain an anger log. Write down the triggers and your reaction. This helps you understand the situation that makes you angry so that you can avoid similar situations in future.
When you get angry what to do?
*Find a safe place to express your anger. Instead of yelling at someone or breaking things, move to a safer place or a room where you are alone. Punch a pillow/ beanbag, shout to a wall, or throw a tennis ball at the wall.
*Practice deep breathing. Taking a few deep breaths calms you down, makes you feel stronger mentally and physically.
*Count to 10. Even though this might sound simple, it is a very effective anger management technique. Counting helps you to take a break from the situation and distract yourself from anger-producing thoughts.
*Get away from the situation. Leave the room, take a walk, hum a tune. It gives time for you to think and solve the problem.
*Imagine consequences of your immediate expression of anger.
*Admit that you are angry. Instead of saying whatever comes to your mind at that moment, think of a more appropriate way of responding. It shows that you are respectful of other’s needs and feelings.
*Let it go. Forgive and forget.
*Assert your anger in an adaptive way rather than being aggressive or suppressing. Express your displeasure at a right place at a right time.
*Incorporate yoga and meditation into your daily life.
*If you are still unable to handle your anger, consult a mental health professional.
The author is a Psychiatrist & Mind Wellness Expert Acharya Shri Chander College of Medical Sciences & Hospital, Jammu)

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