Sapna K Sangra
That time of the year when we look back and weigh our accomplishments and set goals feeling hopeful to do still better. ‘New Year Resolutions’ is around what most of our conversations surround at this point in time. It’s also the time to reach out to families, friends, colleagues and dear ones to exchange greetings and love and wish each other progressive and joyful times. It’s that time of the year when we are all set to bid adieu to 2017 and dive into 2018!
As we embrace this New Year, let’s not limit our progress by setting resolutions. Setting resolutions, to me, is like setting barriers and not moving beyond the set parameters. Rather, forty plus years of my journey on this beautiful Planet called the Earth has taught me to overlook certain things and continue to evolve. While accomplishments and achievement of goals can be motivating to strive further, failing to achieve the targets and running after the same can lead to unprecedented growth. There is nothing like a perfect life or perfect life situations. An expression like the ‘picture perfect’ is only limited to social media and not so much in our real lives. When the road gets smoother and journey gets easier is the time when we stop growing and evolving. It’s important, therefore, to look at each stumbling block as a milestone to our personal growth.
I am neither a Gurumata nor a Sadhavi; I haven’t read religious literature per se, my knowledge is perhaps limited and my words may sound philosophical especially to those at the threshold of juggling and continuously being unable to get what they are aspiring for. And believe you me, those who know me closely might just also think that one’s our own boat starts sailing smooth, we begin giving a lot of Gurugyan to others. I am neither telling you to stop dreaming nor am telling you not to fight back. In fact, when you fight back, you grow. The behaviour of others shouldn’t define your limits. Let them know their ridiculing you personally or otherwise, say for example on social media exhibits their shallowness and lack of wisdom. It’s an expression of their failure to compete with you. Answer them but choose a wiser path. The lesson is, instead of focussing on stopping the growth of the other person; direct your energy to improve your own prospects, both as an individual and in your career front.
As we go through our life’s journey, it’s imperative to realise not everyone is going to be appreciating you. There is always someone somewhere who will always be unhappy with you. Learn to ignore though this comes hard way through. When someone strikes you personally, give it back as hard as you can for God has chosen you to teach him his life’s lessons.
Learn to take your own decisions and when you do, put your decisions in the hands of God. We are yet to reach the level when we know for sure that whatever we are doing is correct and that is the only correct way. If you are lucky to have some people such as family, friends and relatives, mentors; fall back on them for the advice for they are God sent people to help you balance out your difficult times.
My experience says no one is leading a perfect life. Never get swayed by what people exhibit on social media. Never get disheartened looking at your own difficulties, never get pessimistic when struggling to strike a balance between different fronts; that’s how life is for everyone else too and by that I mean for the common people. We need to grow up and understand, the one whose love story is perfect on Social Media, the one who gets holidaying abroad every year, the one who is seen rejoicing and making merry is the lot that is actually suffering from certain complexes and needs help. Our portrayal of perfect life before people and our real lives are actually the two different worlds altogether.
Learn to be yourself, learn to be genuine for real growth lies in accepting who you are. If you understand your strengths and weaknesses, you can work on them. Take one step at a time. Remember, no one is born perfect; everyone has made a beginning from somewhere. Even if you are naive to certain situations, face them for the sake of experience. Experiences, whether good or bad leads to learning and make you a better person. If you haven’t tried and failed, you haven’t yet grown. But never force yourself on certain people and situations. If you aren’t comfortable, walk away. Give yourself and to those people and situations time and see if you happen to cross each other again.
It’s okay to feel insecure sometimes. As parents, brothers, sisters etc we are likely to experience anxiety for we are bound in certain relational dimensions but that’s when our faith must not be shaken. That’s the moment when we need to be mindful of the most difficult time in our lives and coming out of the same. I remember myself being shifted from Police hospital to Govt Medical College in acute pain, I was taken on a stretcher and a few hours later I came out walking at midnight and was in the Kitchen next morning as usual. God has his own plans and he going to take care of us and our dear ones. Everything falls into place; it’s just a matter of time.
Live each moment with Gratitude. Remember who you are and from where you started and you will see, you have so much to thank God for. Be humble with your words, be humble in your actions; do not show your power on the meek and weak. If you have been fortunate and God has been kind, value that. If you have the power of the pen, see you don’t misuse that to harm anyone deliberately. Nothing in life is permanent and they say life is a full circle; what you give would come back. Always pay your debts, to people and situations and equate it here and in this very life.
Let us grow spiritually and realise, what is meant for us would come to us anyway so why make our journey more difficult by digging pits for the others. Have a heart and feel happy seeing someone progress. Life is about growing, experiencing, taking chances and evolving. ‘No New Year’s Resolutions’ this time; just spread your wings and fly without defining your boundaries. I wish you all ample Sunshine and Abundance@2018!
(The author teaches Sociology at the University of Jammu and is the State Chairperson, SPIC MACAY)